Getting High Off Nutmeg, Not A Good Idea

So I seem to be losing my ability to write, to my great dismay. But the one thing I can do is start a journal, since it really doesn't require creativity. But it does require an interesting life, which I don't really have, so journal updates will be few and far between. I'm actually kind of surprised I'm writing this at all, really, but this story is genuinely interesting. So bear with me and stay tuned.

Since summer started, I've been to Florida for a week with my mom, sister, a friend of mine and a friend of hers. It was a good time, and I miss it there, because Honesdale sucks so much. Last week I spent at a camp, and I really miss it there because I actually had friends and didn't feel like a loser. It gave me a good idea for a story, but, as I said, I'm lacking the creative talent.

But so far, my summer fucking blows. I have no job, no car, no girlfriend, no nothing. I spend hours in a hot computer room that smells like cat shit while every single fucking one of my other friends are spending time with their girls and making money at their jobs. I'm looking hard, for a girl and a job, but can't find either. I'm stuck here. It's hell.

And, speaking of hell, finally I'm getting to the main part of this journal entry. Not many people seem to know, but you can get high off of nutmeg. I don't recommend it at all, my experience was awful, but if you want to know the details ask me, because you CAN die from it and I really don't need that on my conscience.

Anyway, a thing about me is I don't really feel all that good about myself, especially when I'm alone, which I fucking always am. So what do I do when all other forms of entertainment fail? Usually I drink, but I have no booze anymore. So my friend's little brother actually told me about this, so on one of my lonely nights a while ago I tried it. And another thing about nutmeg, it takes hours to start working. And because of that, I wasn't feeling it till I was in school. That was not cool. My teacher was showing us pictures of nebulae and I swear on my life that shit was moving. So, yeah, nutmeg works.

And, like anything else, you can overdose on it. It was another night, a bad night, I was feeling particularly shitty. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find nutmeg in my town. I finally tracked it down at one of those health food stores on Main Street, so I think that meant it was more legit stuff. I took most of the bag, went out to play football, a couple hours later I feel it on the ride home. Sitting in my kitchen, feeling worse and worse by the second, said FML and took the rest, knowing it was too much. I go to my room to play InFamous and pass out.

Awoken later by a text from my friend James asking if I want to go to this ice cream place downtown by the park. I haven't seen him in like weeks so of course I go. At the end of my street we meet this girl that James knows and start talking to her. I observe. And one thing, in this state I was much more easily emotionally moved. So I start to think, "Aww, James is totally digging on this chick."

Well we go to the ice cream place and I notice that something was on fire at the park. We get ice cream and I point that out to James, who decides that we will come back after we stop at his house. On the way back, James tries to give the girl an extra ice cream he brought for her. But she denies it because it was all melted, which makes me feel really sorry for James and I get really sad. Anyway, we stop at his house and I am insanely paranoid. His mom stares at me and I think, "Fuck, she knows I'm high, she knows I'm high." And I start to feel sick because my sister calls me and asks if I brought money. And I think, "I can't believe this, they think I'm out to by drugs. They don't trust me. Everyone knows I'm fucking high. Oh god...”

So, paranoia? Check.

Panic? Check.

Well we finally get the fuck out of there. I can barely ride my bike at this point. But I make it back to the park. A thing about James is he talks A LTO. So he's talking to me, I'm only listening. By now we're sitting at a bench in the park. James keeps talking. He's pulling this story out of his ass that the old people burning the flag were a group of aliens discussing a galactic peace treaty on Earth so they won't be found by their enemies. And I'm high so I believe him. That's another point I need to stress, EVERYTHING that I say in this story, I was LEGITIMATELY believing at that time. And have you ever legitimately believed you were watching aliens burning shit in your park? Well I was freaking out on the inside.

And James was STILL talking. I think that asshole knew I was tripping and was fucking with me because he starts speaking Spanish. That Spanish turned into a completely different language entirely at some point, and he keeps talking while I'm staring at him freaked out. At this point I believed that James was an alien too because he was speaking a language that wasn't from this world. Well James starts speaking English again and starts talking about that girl. He says, "You should go out with that girl, she was staring at you. You should." So I think, "Oh god, he's jealous and he's going to kill me in a lover's fury."

And physical description of James: Blond, freckled, comes up to my chest, not exactly buff. Physical description of me: 6 Foot, 190-200 lbs of mostly muscle (not just saying that, either), everyone I meet says they were scared/intimidated by me initially. And right about now, this big black guy is scared to death of this little blond dude.

And after that, James points out that they weren't burning leaves, they were burning flags. That's how you retire flags, an authorized organization burns them. Before this, I never heard of that at all, so I didn't believe him. What I did believe was what James said next, "They could just be aliens that hate America." That freaked me out even more.

Well, we finally leave; my physical capabilities were worsening as I went. I'm surprised I could even ride my bike at all. Here I am scared for my fucking life. Either James was going to lure me into a trap and brutally murder me in the name of love, or I would be abducted by terrorist aliens and never heard from again, or James was an alien who would help with the abduction. But I had to follow him; I barely knew where I was. So I'm fucking terrified. It takes a hell of a lot to get me legitimately terrified.

We meet that girl again. She's with a bunch of neighborhood kids about to play manhunt. James stops and talks to her. One of the kids tells me the time, 9:50. And that startles me. I thought we left at like 7 or 8, how the hell has that been 2 hours? I get even more scared and tell James that I have to go home.

As I'm riding away (this is when the trip gets really really really bad), James calls out to me, "Teooo!"

I stop and turn around, which takes almost all my effort "...Yeah?"

"Remember, the end is nigh!!" And all of the other kids laugh.

"Okay James, see ya later." On the inside I'm like O.O

And a thing about my street, I've always compared it to Salem's Lot. You never see anyone outside OR in the windows during the day. Imagine what it's like at 10 pm. Well I'm riding down this fucking half mile long, desolate street, afraid that James was going to pop out of a corner and murder me. And another of my friend's little sister and her friend come out of nowhere. I'm like "What are you doing here??" They both just stare at me as I ride by. I see a cat further down the road, it stares at me the SAME EXACT FUCKING WAY.

So now I'm thinking that I'm dreaming, which is good, because now I can turn this into a good dream. As you can imagine, that doesn't work. Then it clicks, this was a nightmare I couldn't get out of. James words, "The end is nigh!" In other words, "You're about to die!" So my fucked up mind puts it together, "Teo, you were dying. Now you're dead. This is a nightmare you can't get out of. You're dead and in hell." Remember... I legitimately believed that was the case.

I get home, my street felt like it took an eternity to ride down. My mom and sister both are looking at me weird, the same way James' mom was earlier. My sister asks if I'll drive her to the gas station down the road before I go to bed. I'm thinking, "This is one last test." But if I refuse, they'll interrogate me, they'll find out I'm high, they'll be ashamed of me, I can't have that. So, stupid me decides to drive her. And I thank whatever god may be up there, whether it pays attention to us or not, that nothing happened. I could still drive just fine.

But, I failed the test. Now my punishment would be eternal.

So once I'm back home I go to bed. A thing about my room, it's tiny. I can literally touch both walls at the same time if I stretch. My bed takes up almost a half of it. So as I lay down I think, "This is it, Teo. This is your hell. An eternity in this tiny room. Hm, that seems too easy." And as soon as I think those words, the pain kicks in, strengthening the belief that I was in hell.

I'm in really bad shape here. I wanted to fucking cry my eyes out. And I don't fucking cry.

I'm afraid of my mom and sister, I believed that they were demons here to keep me in check, and would punish me if need be. So I hide my phone whenever I hear them come up the stairs, I didn't want them to take it. I'm frantically texting my friend, "I can't believe this. I died without realizing. I'm dead and in hell. It's too late." But the light was hurting my eyes, so I rub them. Rubbing them only makes it worse, so I rub more. And the pain was becoming more acute every time I blinked. It felt like there was something, a tiny bug or something, underneath my eyelid, trying to burrow its way into my pupil. So I stop texting so it doesn't get worse. And my teeth started to hurt, a toothache in all of them at once, not very pleasurable. And then I sleep.

And when I say sleep I mean SLEEP.

What nutmeg does is it sedates the body. It was about 10:30 pm Monday night when I fell asleep. I don't wake up until noon on Wednesday. OVER 30 HOURS I WAS IN BED. 30 HOURS, with the few exceptions where I braved a trip to the bathroom. See, another thing it does is dehydrate you. And that was the most dehydrated I have EVER been in my whole fucking life. You know when you wake up and you have that gross shit all in your mouth? Imagine that multiplied by a million. It was literally layering over my teeth, making them feel twice as big. I could fucking scratch the gunk off and have it cover the tip of my finger. It was disgusting. I had to drink or I probably would have died. So trips to the bathroom to fill up my cup were the only times I got up. I could hardly walk. I could hardly stand. As I leaned against my wall it felt like my head was like a bubble or something, it kept changing fucking shape. As the left portion of my skull expanded, my left eye would go blind and my left ear would go deaf. It was so bad. I was so afraid I'd be stuck like that.

But the physical effects wore off. The mental effects remained for the rest of the week. For the rest of the week I had this nagging belief that I was still dead, just in limbo, going through the motions of my afterlife. It was no good.

So, kids, moral of this story? Be careful how much nutmeg you put on your eggnog. Just kidding, with the amount it takes to actually affect you, you wouldn't want to drink that eggnog anyways. But seriously, kids. Don't fucking do drugs, especially things like LSD or Acid that make you trip balls. And if you fucking do, DON'T YOU FUCKING DO THEM ALONE.

But I know there are some dumbasses who will try this, "Oh boy! A legal way to get high!!" Please don't. Do your research or ask me before you make any decisions. Don't fucking kill yourselves.