To her.

Take him and care for him and love him like no one should be able to, because I am not that person and I never will be. I serve a different role. It's selfish and cruel of me to try and hold him from you. Don't think it's because I care about you, I don't. But I care about him more than anyone will ever understand. And when you're that close to someone, when you can feel their heart breaking and it feels like your own, you know better than to try and keep them away. I'm truly terrified of you in the very essence of the word; you have the power to completely destroy the one thing I care most about in the world and I know you won't hesitate to use it. I've let you use me to get to him, to control him, because it hurt him less than standing up to you would. Maybe that was a mistake on my part, maybe a fatal one. I don't know. All I know is that you hold a whole new level of power over him, and you're reckless and hateful and compulsive and you're dangerous with it. I fear to think of the kind of pain you could put him through. But he needs you. I hope you realize that. He needs you more than he will ever need me. So take that pull you have over him and use it for a greater good than I did. I still have some to use, but not enough to save him if you wreck him, so don't. I can pick up the pieces you chip off, and I can fade the scars you're sure to leave, and I will. Just like I always have. But please, if I never ask anything of you again, don't take him from me. Don't take the one thing in my life that I truly live for, if for no other reason than the fact that we are tied together, and if I go, you'll lose a part of him. You don't deserve him. But really, no one does. No one deserves the kind of beauty and muted poetry he possesses in his heart and in his soul, no one deserves the kind of extraordinary love and peace he carries with him; tucked away from a darker part of him that scares even me to see. You should be killed for taming the wild fury in his heart and in his mind that makes him who he is, but he tamed himself for you, and he can't be blamed for his own choices. You will never be good enough for him on your own. But he wants you, he loves you and he cares about you and he always will because that's the kind of person that he is. So make yourself good enough for him. Take the love and the fire and the power he throws into you and make yourself the kind of person he deserves.

It sounds impossible. It probably is.

But for the love of God, you had better try your hardest.

You had better prove to me I didn't make a mistake.
July 7th, 2010 at 10:39am