July the ninth of two thousand ten

"I wanna burn every bridge I built and crossed to get near you."

Okay, I understand that we fight. I understand that we lie. I understand that we aren't perfect. I understand that I'm a girl, and you're a boy. I understand that I rely more on my feelings, and you rely on whatever guys rely on in their senseless brains. I'll tell you my secrets, my interests, my EVERYTHING, and you don't care! Stop saying that you care, because you don't. I can tell by your manner and your body language that you do not care one second of a minute. Why am I throwing myself out there while you just walk away? My heart cannot contain the pain of why you don't care. I want to know what keeps me coming back. I am not in love with you, but I love you just as a friend would. And you can't even tell me that you love me back. My feelings have been burned, numbed, and scarred too many times for me to turn back to you. My heart will not let me. I love you brother, but love isn't enough for you. It never was, and it never will.

But I read, "Sometimes the people you love most leave. They leave because they're scared that they might love you back." I can't decide if that's true or not.

Everything that you say to me, I register in my mind as a lie, because you lie so much..

"It's such a paradox
Isn't he, isn't she?"