The Brutal Truth

"God. I seriously hate my life. Chris, Dylan all the Ryans, Lyndsey, Ashley, Sara, etc. i really resent how easy life is for them. they have the looks, the guys, the personality, but no brains and no interest. I hate that everytimeI go for a guy i get my heart broken. i try to act like it doesn't bother me, but the truth is.....it does. It bothers me that i can't except myself, that i'm not good enough for my dad, that i don't have the personality guys like, and that i can't even be more that friends with a guy. I'm sick of my self-pity, eventhough i can't help it, i'm sick of conformity, posers and fast food. Sick of labels, and the people who lable that don't even know what the label means. I'm going cazy wit hate and ragge that it's wearing me out. i'm sick of guys who can't see past appearance. i'm sick of guys who only care about a one night stand and getting laid, even though they're way too young. i'm sick of Tucker who only listens to me because he wants to be polite, but isn't doing a very good job of it. I'm sick of Dylan, who has a huge crush on Halie, but can't seem to find the courage to ask her out, but insists on flirting with every girl he lays eyes on.....except me. i'm sick of Chris who can ignory my stupid crush without even feeling bad about breaking my heart with his bare hands. and acting like we're still friends whe i could care less about him anymore. And i'm sick of him taking advantage of my love. i'm sick of the stupid crushes i can't help having. i'm sick of being mad at my parents for no reason. i'm sick of Mr. Nolan always on my back about where i am and my grade in math which he's still worried about in the last days of school. i'm sick of hearing about celebrities' problems, when i could care less, and when i'm trying to put my priorities in line. i'm sick of trying to have a life that i know i'll never have. I'm sick of trying to make money. i'm sick trying to fall in love, and forgetting to fall out of it. i'm sick of all the Drama in life that shouldn't be there in the first place. i'm sick of my dad trying to find a job out of state. i'm sick of being ignored. i'm sick of having too many cares. i'm sick of caring too much for people that'll never care about me. i'm sick of the messes i've made, and the mistakes that are still following me. i'm sick of being depressed, i'm sick of being overweight. i'm sick of peer pressure. i'm sick of being pressured to be skinny because i'm a girl. i'm sick of being shy. i'm sick of not being photogenic. i'm sick of teachers always on my back who are supposed to care less. i'm sick of wanting to cry but not being able to. i'm sick of myspace i'm sick of hearing about the dance. i'm sick of seeing middle schoolers all coupled up with guys who will probably break their heart in the end. i'm sick of gossip. i'm sick of being told i'm good at something when i know i'm not. i'm sick of nobody liking me for who i am. i'm sick of misreading signs. i'm sick of people sugar coating the truth. i'm sick of making mistakes. i'm sick of pressured politedness. i'm sick of forgetfulness. i'm sick of my handwriting. i'm sick of trying to explain things. i'm sick of not seeing my cousins. i'm sick of being alone. i'm sick of people saying that everything is all right. i'm sick of war and death. i'm sick of seeing people flashing the peace sign, purely to pose for a picture. i'm sick of seeing people trying to kill themselves. i'm sick of nobody understanding. i'm sick of hangingon to negative energy. i'm sick of worrying about being pretty and about trying to be everything i'm not. I'm sick of love. i'm sick of trying to be normal when i know i'm not. The truth is... i'm sick. the only things i'm not sick of is music, my friends, and old black and white movies. because they'll never go out of fasion. i just want to go back to those old days, when all i worried about was friendship and all i was sick of was the flu. i'm sick of daydreaming about things that will never come true. i hate being around the people i'm around. all i want is the brutal truth, which no one will give to me because only god knows they'd rather die than break someone whose already broken. when you're broken nobody sees. when you're broken nobody cares. and the person who broke you wont even care that they shattered you and were too lazy to put you back together. i hate that the only way i can speak the truth is on paper. and i hate that people can't see when you're really hurt. the probably look, but they don't see. because they're to lazy and selfish to care about anyone but themselves. i hate when people say that they're unique, when really , they don't even know what unique means. that's when i love to see them proven wrong when they realize that they are like everyone else, and not like the misfits, and not one in a million like they thought. eventhough i can't help feeling sorry for them."