Okay, first off, I’d like to say that ultimately, it was my fault for being such an idiot. Not theirs. I don’t place any blame on them for this jerk’s actions, or my own. I take full responsibility for my mistakes. They were mine to make and no one else’s, and I made them. That is over and done with. But in any case, a guy who was supposed to be my age asked to be my friend. I said sure. And then he asked if we could instant message because he was bored. Well, I was too. So long story short, we got on to instant messaging, and I found out he was actually nineteen. Okay, first off, I am a thirteen year old girl. I'm wary about saying yes to friend requests to guys even only one year older than me if I don’t know the person offline and/or if I’ve never spoken to them before. But, so far, we'd been having an okay conversation. It wasn't great, but it wasn't like it was bad. But when I found out he was nineteen? The first red flag went up. Why, you ask? Not only was he nineteen and KNEW I was thirteen - not all of us lie on our profile pages - but he continued to talk to me even after he found out how young I was.
We started having less normal conversation. It was awkward for me, to say the very least. I won't disturb you with details, but I said no. And finally, after he got it through his thick skull that I wasn't going to, he said, "ur loss" and "bye then". And said he was deleting me from his friend's list. And remember, this is all on Skype chat. I told him whatever, because at that point, I really didn't want to be friends with him. And when the conversation took a turn for the worse, I already had a feeling how it was going to end. And I was right. Call it intuition. Call it I've been around too many jerks before to know. Call it common sense. I don't care. It doesn’t make it any more or less true.
He then proceeded to tell me that the reason that no guys liked me was because I was "f****** ugly". I didn't take it to heart. Life is too short to listen to mean and bitter people, especially when they're also wrong. I know I'm not ugly. And I never said guys didn't like me - just that I turn them down when they ask. Though, admittedly, he's right, about guys not liking me, that is. Most guys -the ones with eyes, I mean- do not like me. They just like what I have to offer. As for liking me and getting to know me as a person? Most of them could care less. I know from experience.
And I don't need a guy to be happy with my life. I have friends, I have family, and I have myself. I don't need a guy to tell me I'm beautiful or whisper other sweet-nothings in my ear. Because they really are just that. Sweet nothings. They are designed to make us girls feel loved and good about ourselves, but the true meaning and weight or them? It amounts to nothing. And I don't need help feeling good about myself. I have a family who loves me. I have friends who are always there for me, no matter what time in the morning it is or whether my clothes don’t quite match the next day. We're there for each other through thick and thin. I'm happy just being who I am, and am a firm believer in living for myself, and by myself. I believe in myself, and that's what sets me apart from your average teenage girl. I found security in myself, and no one else. I don't need a co-author to my life. I'm strong enough to write my own story.
I deleted him from Skype and blocked him on the site. He never did delete me, though, as he had said he would. Didn't matter. I deleted him. Whether he expected me to change my mind or what, I don't really know, nor do I actually care. What's done is done - it's in the past now. I can't change it. But I don't like people who try to toy with me.
Also, some 16 year old (or at least I HOPE he was sixteen - liars are horrible, wouldn't you all agree?) sent me a friend request with a single line: 'u look hot'. No punctuation. Couldn't even take the time to spell out the word 'you'. In any case, I don't know if they line works on other girls who are single and desperate, but I'm not one of them. I am sooo not interested, okay? And the last time I sent someone a friend request, or even talked to them, it wasn't because they were good looking or complimented me. No, it was because I was either being polite or recognized that, "Hey. This is a really great and genuinely pleasant person."
So far, other than my friend who recommended the site in question to me, I didn’t meet a single person worth knowing. And okay, I'm sure they were there, yeah. And it's not like I did a big search or anything. But the only friend requests I had received had been from guys. *shakes head sadly* And at the moment, I am so, so very sick of hearing words come out of the mouths and/or heads of members of the XY chromosome, okay? I shouldn't go on a site and within not even an hour be automatically be hit up by three guys because I'm a girl and I have a pretty face. That's all I ever am to people anymore. A pretty face. It’s rather disheartening, to be honest, and brings the word disgust to a whole new level. It's sad to see what we, as human beings, have succumbed to. In fact..... I'm not even sure we can call ourselves that, anymore. When I was a little girl, and I imagined being my big brother's age at that time, it was a happy place. In my fantasy, I was getting older and getting more freedoms and responsibilities and trust. I never imagined this. And I have to say, I liked the fairy tale better.
And so that concludes my rant on the site I am no longer a part of. I won’t tell you the name, because it wasn’t the site’s fault, per se, and I don’t blame them personally. They weren’t at fault for what a few of their users did and said. The jerks were just some teenage boys being, well, teenage boys. I just wanted to say that I hope never to be treated the same way I was there ever again, as I don’t have to put up with people like that, and I’m not going to. I shouldn’t have to. All in all, it had not been a good experience for me. In all honesty, it was rather degrading, and I pray never to find myself in that kind of situation again.
So beware, girls who may be reading this. You never know if someone even likes you for the right reasons. When you’re on the internet and you can’t see their face, anything is possible. For all I know, “Ben” might not have even been nineteen. On his profile, he was thirteen, same age as me. Then, I found out he was nineteen. But he didn’t have his webcam set up. Can’t imagine why. For all I know, he could have been some 40 year old creeper. Now, I don’t know that. He may have actually been just nineteen. But in any case, he sexually harassed a minor from overseas. Yeah. He was a real pleasant guy, wouldn’t you agree?
jessi_sunshine
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