Just wrote a story, need some feedback.

Hello. I just wrote a short story for a contest and I really like the plot line that I've set up. I'm thinking about continuing the story in the future, but I want some feedback of what I've already written.

Here it is.

It's called I'll Never Let Go and it's about a sister's strength that gets tested when she has to learn to survive without her. I really have a lot that I could do with it. I just need some feedback first.

Please and thank you!

I love you, I love life, I love it all. I love being an optimist.
-Gigi