I can see you online, you've been online for about an hour now. I'm not going to be the one to crack first. We haven't spoken since June 21st, I just checked. I still have that message saved, even though it makes me want to punch a wall. This whole situation makes me want to punch a wall.
I finally understand what it's like to lose sleep over someone. You're online, just click my name and say "hey," like you always used to. Now you refuse to even try. You know, I took at as a sign when you tagged me in that video you made with the remix of that one song a week ago. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd still want to talk to me, but I guess I was wrong.
You have new friends, and I'm stuck. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore because I don't want to whine to anyone else but you. How can I whine to you about you when you're not even talking to me?
I WILL NOT crack. I assure you. I will not send the first message. Not for another week at least. I don't want to have to at all. As long as I've known you, I've known that we're both stubborn. You always end up being more stubborn than me. I always break first, but I don't have it in me to break first this time.
It's just that staring at your name is making it really hard to stay strong. And noticing the other names on the list? I can guess who's taking my place. I hope you're happy because I'm not, at all. I'll never tell you that, though. The satisfaction would only inflate your ego and break me even more. I will not break.
/Rant
I refuse to crack first.
July 20th, 2010 at 05:55am