Now let me just say, I don't cry. I can't cry. No matter what happens or how shitty I feel, and sometimes that's really bad, I never shed a tear, no matter what. I haven't legitly cried in years, the crying where you break down and sob and your nose runs and you can't see.
And that suits me just fine. I don't believe in it. I don't believe that men should cry under any circumstance. In my opinion, men should be men. Ask anyone that knows me, they're never seen me cry. Suck it up, rub dirt in the wound. I don't care if you got dumped or your daddy never loved you. We've all been through shit, we all have horror stories to tell.
Except for when it's 5 AM and I haven't slept yet and I need to get up in 2.5 hours. I find myself to be in this situation a lot recently, and recently I've felt pretty shitty. Not enough to complain about in a journal, begging for attention and sympathy. But, only one other thing has made me feel like I wanted to be 4 again, crying to my mom over a stuffed animal. Only one other thing has made a tear roll down my cheek for the past 5 or so years. And, not gonna lie, it felt kinda good, especially with my state of mind these last few weeks. But I can't find that thing right now.
Not gonna ask for this often, but now it's 5 AM again and I feel like I need it. I can't do it on my own, so somebody out there, please tell me a story or show me something. I feel like crying.
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