I'm Working on a list of adjectives that describe the way I feel right now. Any suggestions?

What I have so far is:

alone
betrayed
c
dead
"Empty With You"
f*cked over
goodbye
hopeless
insane
j
k
lost
m
not over you
over you
p
q
running
stupid
tied down
useless
v
w
x
y
*zip*

What happened is my girlfriend of 9 months as of yesterday broke up with me. We had a long description, and she decided (evidently her friend told her) that we have nothing in common and we should break up. I officially hate her friend. And I still love her. A song to fit my mood: Madina Lake "One Last Kiss."

I miss her, and it's been only a few hours. I want her back. "Where ever you are now, here you were adored."

I don't even know if it was hard for her. She kept saying that we would get back together later, but was her friend long enough to know that she told everyone before me that. and guess what? She hasn't gotten back with them. I just hope there wasn't anyone else.

She is my first love, and I can't let her go lightly. I feel like nothing and everything. Everything in my room reminds me of her. My bracelets that I wear all the time, the ones I spent hours making, were made usually having to do with her. My walls are covered with her art work. My head is filled with her. I'm lost without her.

If I think about it, we were doomed from the start. Our parents hated our relationship, and did everything to stop it. Really, us ourselves were wrong for each other. But I loved her, and I thought we could make it work. I'm too stupid to leave well enough alone and just be friends. I should have just stayed her best friend. I gave up my life for her and planned my future including her. And now it was all a waste.

I think she abused me. I was always coming away with crap from her. But I loved her. I loved who she was before we were together. When we were friends and I couldn't make any claims on her heart. She didn't understand what a relationship was, and she wasn't ready. I pushed her into one, and demanded that she make it work. I think she was right when she told me she doesn't know what love is. She doesn't know how to give and take in a relationship.

This may be cruel to say, but I hope she cried. I hope she balled her eyes out when she said goodbye to me. For all the times I've stayed up all night crying over her, she needs some payback. She needs to cry over me.

But I hope she gets over me eventually, and she fulfills her dreams. I hope she gets to be a photographer, and goes on to be successful.

Look up the lyrics to Kenny Chesney's "Anything but Mine." There's a line that says "I don't see how you could ever be anything but mine."
Well, Mickey, I don't see how you could be anything but My Mickey. This can't be goodbye. I've loved you too much, and for too long for this to be over like this. A stupid text message doesn't solve the problems. Your life isn't going to get better just because I'm not in it.