Deprived of her fake laughter.

I'm scared. I really am.

I hear the whimpering of my brother. He's calling my mom and here I am typing.

I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I hope this never happens again.

My brother a few minutes ago was in a coughing fit. He then started to choke and cry and call for my mom. Everyone rushed while I stared. Dumbfounded at the scene. I went out from my room because I hear the dogs barking and someone doing something.

I was scared he was choking again since it happened last time.

Last time, I was scared I couldn't do anything next time and here is my next time.

I'm not close to my brother at all. We tease each other but we only occasionally talk like once a week even if we live in the same house. Even though we aren't close I'm still scared.

I am scared he'll die. In front of my eyes or go to the hospital. I'm just scared.

I don't even think it was normal for me to run away from the scene.

I hear him again, gasping for air. He's alright though. My dad's there.

I was scared that if I rushed up to him...he'd just push me away and get mad, to be honest.

I have no idea if I'll just return to being my sugary and hyper self tomorrow.

I have practice for this event tomorrow and I don't want to be a downer.

Though, I will tell my friends. I'm just not sure if I'll be mentally stable enough to be constantly happy and not cry.

I don't want to cry.

I want to believe there's still hope,

but I'm still scared.