The Day I Thought I'd Never Get Through....

Update on how I'm recovering... as if anybody cares....

I'm creepy and stalkerish. I go on her page and look at her poems and journals and pictures... I see her call someone her love, and it breaks me the way she can do that so soon. I see what she has posted on the girl's profile, and it makes me laugh.

1. Love is what I always called her.
2. She is telling her she will eat her. (something I always did)
3. She says "*bites your arm*" which is my thing.
4. haha mickey, haha.

It amuses me that she does that to someone, because i used to do that to her.
I think I'm going to be fine. I think I'll forget her.
I'm glad I made an impression. I'm glad I changed her.

I hope she realizes how much I loved her though. I hope one day she looks back and she knows that there was a time when I would have died for her. I hope she knows that.

I see now that the reason I didn't want to break up was to get back at everyone telling me it was sin. I knew she was wrong for me, but I wanted to hang on so I could stick in in their faces. I think my love started to fade months ago. In spring, the first time she was blatantly mean, I realized that I didn't care. I was like wtf, whatever.

What upsets me is the way she went about breaking up. If she had told me how she felt, I would have been able to handle it and let her go. But constructing an argument, just to piss herself off enough to break up? No. She was cold and cruel, and I see that her love wasn't what I thought it was.

On a different note....
why didn't I know about Matthew Leone until yesterday??? It's not cool. I used to have a sort of obsession with him. He always impressed me, and I'm glad to see that I'm right.

But I swear, if he dies, I'ma go rip off 1/3 of that idiot's skull..... j/k. but it makes me mad the way people can be sometimes.

So now I'm
Looking
Hoping
for
Someone
to
Come
and
Save
ME!