I don't know what to title this. Just my rambling I guess.

Since I joined this site, I sort of vowed to become a better writer, or at least try. With this site I promised that I would write stories that people would like and update them regularly.

But I did neither of those things. Yes, this site has somewhat made me a better writer. I've written stories and deleted them, and written some more. But essentially I haven't updated any regularly like I yearned to do.

This past year, I've changed. I look at the world differently, through new eyes and react to things with different feelings. The past few months I've had horrible writers block, sort of. I can still write, but not my usual amount. For example, I'll maybe write 120 pages in a story, but since my regretfully acquired writers block, I write 20 pages.

A lot less than the norm, huh?

My parents have been arguing a lot more than usual, and now it's ending in a bad divorce. They've been having problems for about three years. Since that time I kind of knew that the divorce was coming, but the things that have happened in between I did not expect to see.

I've finally stood up to my Dad and told him that I fit him in to my schedule, not the other way around. And that he can't always make things better when he royally fucks up.

I can't apologize enough for not writing these past few months. I always said to myself that I would sit down and write some days, but those days were the days that nothing would come out. I can't force writing to come out, it comes out naturally.

On the plus side, I made it to my sophomore year in high school. I'm not as excited as I was when I entered my freshman year, but I'm dedicated to working hard so I can get out of high school early and start college.

There are so many things that I wanted to do this summer that I didn't get to do, but I somehow feel like what I wanted to do this summer wasn't going to happen anyway. As usual, summer always feels short. But this summer has felt extremely short. I'm not exactly dreading going back to school, but I'm not all chipper to start a new school year with more fights, drama, school work, and a bunch of friends who I can't open up to and don't really know me.

With that said, I've found that I know a lot more about myself than I did last summer and that I'm smarter than I think. But, like all young teenagers, I've made mistakes and have wanted things that I can't have or get.

But sophomore year at high school will be different. Well, duh it'll be different, but I mean that I'll be entering it with a different mind set. I'll be entering a world that I've adapted to and have learned to ignore and just push through it.

I've learned not to let people think they can push me around because they perceive me to be one of the nerds that can't defends themselves.

Essentially, I've become a better me. And I can't wait to show people how I've changed.