Little Theater

So, today I had my performance at the end of the two-week camp I went to at the Baton Rouge Little Theatre. We did Macbeth, and it was awesome! I absolutely loved going to that camp. I just felt so at home there.

Never in my 14 years of life have people actually fought over who was going to sit next to me. In two days at this camp I had to choose between three of four different people everyday to sit next to. I actually had people hugging me and asking where I was every second of every day. I've never ever gotten that before. Nobody's ever really cared enough about me to want to know where I was just to give me a random hug.

I had three different people tell me that I was their best friend. My friend Victoria told me that she wasn't a virgin because I was her best friend and that's something a best friend should know. My friend Grace always wanted to play with my hair and told me how my laugh made her happy. My friend Kelsey told me about her crappy life and how a lot of times she wanted to kill herself. My friends Kaci and Claire always tried to find a seat on either side of me. Michael started slapping me on the butt just like he did with the people he'd known for years. Ryan and I talked about guitar stuff a lot. Other people kept singing songs with my name in it just because they knew it would either make me happy or make me dance.

It was crazy how much these theatre kids loved me in such a short amount of time, when I still don't get that from my friends who I've known for months or even years. Can you imagine how that feels? To finally get the immediate love you didn't know you were craving, just for being yourself.

But, now it's over. The two weeks are over and the only way to stay friends is to make the effort by talking on Facebook and texting. I hate that I won't be able to see Ryan and Michael and Ashton and Grace and Kelsey and Kaci almost at all. I won't be able to smell Ryan every day, anymore. (Ryan is the best smelling male I have ever met. Even Michael agrees.) I won't be able to yell "A DRUM! A DRUM!" in a hick accent every day.

It hurts how the people that I end up loving and being loved by so much are the people that I spend the shortest amount of time with. Now, I have to go back to being almost ignored and unwanted. It's painfully to think about the difference of treatment I get just because of who I'm with. Shouldn't I get the same treatment from my "friends" that I got from these theatre kids that I just met and only knew for two weeks?

It's unfair, especially when I look around at all these other people who have friends hanging all over them. I should know because I'm usually one of those ones that's hanging around.

It's like I have two different lives. One life is my "theatre-kids-love-me" life and the other is my "school-friends-basically-couldn't-care-less" life. I don't like it, but it's true, doe! (another joke from camp!)

Sigh. I'll stop being depressing online now. Have a good night everyone.

~~~Caroline~~~