I'm ***ed up.

So, I've got issues. I know, I know, who doesn't? But I'm serious. I'm fucked up. There's this girl, her name is megan, and I love her. And I mean that in every possible way. I love her, I'm in love with her, I will always love her. You're probably like, what the heck is your problem then? right? Well, it's complicated. Everything is. It always is because I always fuck everything up. I had a chance, no she gave me MULTIPLE chances, and I blew every single freaking one of them. and I never meant to. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I do the things I do. I hurt her. more and more everyday. and I don't even mean to. I want to fix her pain, not cause it. I don't know how to fix all the problems that we have, so I get scared and somehow I always end up fucking something up, causing a fight, and crying. She's got enough going on in her life without me, I shouldn't do this. I don't know why I do. I love her. but that's not enough to erase my mistakes. I need help.