I've barely eaten for a week now.
To be honest? It feels good.
I'm 5'3", 13 years old, and over 170 pounds.
I want to be skinny. I want to be beautiful.
I don't look fat, I don't.
It just looks like I have nice curves...
But I get out of breath so easily, and, from the side?
Yeah, my gut sticks out further than my C-cups.
That's what I hate.
I pretend to love my fat.
I say that it makes me unique and beautiful.
Really? I hate everything about it.
I hate stepping on that Weight Watchers scale my mom bought me and seeing what it has to say.
It says "you weigh too much, you fat thing."
I know what you're going to say:
"This is bad for you! You should start eating! Exercise and stop eating junk if you want to lose weight!"
But, I don't think it will do anything.
I've already lost a pound and a half. In one week.
And it's so, so great.
Imagine if I keep this up, or go more extreme.
I could be so beautiful and thin...
I don't know who I'm doing this for, though...
Whether it's for me, or for all the people who have mocked me, or for all the people who've rejected me.
I just want to be loved.
I just want to be thin.
I just want to be beautiful.
my anorexia.
August 4th, 2010 at 07:49pm