Adventures of Alejandra & Austin

Ladies and germs, as you read this may you go on a crazy ass journey in to the mind of
Alejandra & Austin

Please bare with me, there my be some obcenne content ONLY FOR MATURE people who can handle my adventures.

The story begins with me trying to smuggle in pills to Canada. Pills that make you burp out of you're dried up pimple pores. Because the King Austin of Quebec cant burp through her mouth for that would be rude and discreet. He's yelling me at French
"the pills! I need the drugs" and his warts are getting icky because gas is filling them up. any who, im trying to sneak in when the wood ranger pops up and gives me a lecture of forest fires. Meanwhile im trying to shut the hell up the wood ranger which she allowed me to call her kitty cat for her obsession with cat woman (though she says that she's not gay) little does she know that Alejandra at night is Cat woman. da da dummmmm.

So Alejandra [which is me but its so much easier talking in third person.] Alejandra is trying to hold her laughter so bad, from hearing this small coincidence, that she spits out through her nostril [effects of other pills] a flammable saliva liquid that burned down cat's favorite palm tree with her tiny shiny coconuts. Which were growing melons on the side that were only teens so they were learning the teachings of masturbation. But now they will never get to the final step which is the actual performance because Alejandra is a heartless burning melon/coconut/palm tree with her acidic saliva. But she loves pine trees because along with turning into Catwoman she can also wish herself a pine tree to caress.

So now kitty cat is broken hearted and Alejandra is laughing her pikachus off pointing at her saying stupid Canadian. Suddenly Julio the Mexican wanting to be Canadian hears what Alejandra says and comes over and steals one of her boobs. So now Alejandra must use her other one boob and separate it in half to feel the missing gap. Leaving her vulnerable and her weakness revealed: she is now flat!

Cat runs over and with a stick disinflates her nipple and starts giggling until she notices the tattoo above Alejandra veiny chest. It read Catwoman that hoe. of course cat knew what that meant, it could only mean one thing that Alejandra is cat woman. so now cat runs after Julio and tries to cut his nose in half, with a razor blade she had in her emo days or should I say nights? that's when Raul steps in the picture. He is a novela actor/rapist flamer.

"Julio my love what have they done to you"[he spoke in a dramatic voice while raping Alejandra on the side]
"how dare they kill your beauty...ness [this time hes gone to cat and began superman'ing her.]
Cat: "oh my god EW. You are not of the feline species. Do not throw me your monstrosity of semen. You nasty man I spit on you." [cat spits on Julio] suddenly Julio peels off his mask to be......AUSTIN!!! with a Russian accent "ju zink im tu zpeet un? da? da? well fook ju!" Austin the kind reveals his ninja moves and attacks cat, knocking Alejandra out of the way, leaving her a bruised chest. meanwhile Alejandra is rubbing her sore boobs while Julio gets turned on and decides to rape Alejandra.
Cat: "no Alejandra how could you go for him. Aren't we meant to be?." Austin is still ninja'ing his skills when he turns and sees Julio trying to grab Alejandra
" OH NO YOU DIIIIDDDDN'T!" Austin says letting his Mexican side evolve. That was the end of Julio as it was. Alejandra is now hopping to the queen and cat is lying on the floor heart broken declaring the love her life just left her with out even slow dancing with her in the middle of a courtyard while people are eating and spectating them. And yet she doesn't want people thinking she's gay???? :D
Austin ate Julio in one piece and enjoyed the taste of Mexican kids so much that he is now obese in a wheel chair running over the little kids that thinks it's funny to poke him when he burps. For punishment he tells them to poke his stomach and his belly button swallows them whole. R.I.P. Natalie one of the children who wanted to feel his stomach grumble. :/

Alejandra finally got to the kingdom with their kind Austin but by that time the King had erupted his burp leaving half Quebecians dead from nasty onion smell. For consequence Alejandra was beheaded by Rabiya the sex slave of the queen Ian (do not ask why...maybe the hair?) Alejandra's body remains walking for eight more lives. She now holds 3. Her deaths include, curiosity of the theory that rubbing Austin's belly will give you good luck. Getting run over by Natt and her drunk Mexican friends, Julio coming back to haunt her, the second to last shall remain nameless and cat for the massive rape she committed later on. Cat now has Alejandra's beheaded head stuffed and mounted on her bedroom ceiling.

The first thing she sees when she wakes up. THE END.
Guess what? That was three minutes of your life you'll never get back :D