Who am I?

I am ****** and I am *********, but those things don't define me. As I grow up, mature, and find a place in the world I will always be the same girl underneath. I don't like change but I always feel the need to start over. I like things to be controlled and done my way but I don't like being in charge. I wanna meet new friends but I don't like being around people I don't know. I am very shy but online I will tell you anything. I call myself a writer but I hardly ever finish a story. People can't decide if I'm a wanna-be emo or just an outcast who doesn't know how to dress. I've recently learned that you should get rid of the poisonous people in your life – even if it means getting rid of a family member. I've also learned that your family means more to you than you know, and that those who really love you will go through hell and back for you, no matter what. I've learned that you can fall in love in high school but you can't tell others who they do or don't love. I've learned that my mommy is the best person in my life and that my grandma comes a close second. I've learned it's emotionally impossible for me to hate, otherwise I definitely would hate a certain somebody by now – but I realize that it's good that I can't. I don't like making important decisions because I'm always afraid I will make the wrong choice. I have to say I love you every chance I get because I'm so scared I won't have enough time. I'm the girl who doesn't understand herself but who wants you to try to figure me out – and then I'll get mad when you do. I'm a contradiction. Contradicting ***

Should I disable comments? I don't think I'll get any but, eh, let 'em speak their mind.