I just said goodbye to my brother

and now I'm sad. Hes going off to college and hes leaving early tomorrow morning, so we said goodbye tonight. Were not all that close and crying is my least favorite thing to do, but I cant help it. I'm just really going to miss him. Even if he can be an ass sometimes. Most of the time, actually.

Also I have family visiting from Canada and they're leaving tomorrow morning too. Sad, sad day. And I wont see them until next summer, and it may be even longer than that.

All my life he has been right next door and it didnt matter if we were in a fight, or if i hated him, or if i thought he was the greatest person in the world. He was right there, whenever and if ever I needed him. Now hes going to be an hour away and thats not that far, but its not next door. And I wont talk to him much, because thats how our family works. Thinking about him leaving makes me think of how much were actually growing up, and it scares the shit out of me. I can remember so much from when we were just little kids. Running around our neighborhood with no worries. Now were going off to college and starting our lives. Scary. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I only have 2 more years of high school left. And one day we will be all grown up. And maybe one day we will live in different countries like my mom and her brother.Maybe some day we wont talk to each other much and only see each other on holidays. And have awkward conversations about the weather and the economy. Maybe some day, maybe soon, something terrible could happen and one of us will pass away. I'm seriously depressing myself here. I really hate crying.
I really hate saying goodbye.