I know....

I know that i am nothing. I have accepted that. Thats all i will ever be. Either invisible to all or just someone to mess with. Im like a broken bridge: used, broken, and left to wrot. Thats all im good for. No one cares. Not my friends, who are always mad at me even though i do nothing to them. Not my family, who blames me for our problems. They say its my fault my brother left. Its my fault my sister left, though she did come back for a guy and her cousin who she loves SO much more than me. People always tell me how much they hate me, how much of a freak i am. There is so much pain in this world, so much sadness. I know what its like to cry myself to sleep. I dont what anyone else to feel like that. I go around with a smile painted on my face and try tocheer people up. I love telling people thank you when they do something nice for me. Making people feel good about themselves is something else i love to do. Ive never had people do that for me. Ive always been the punching bag in the situation, emotional anyways. I know im not good enough. I know im worthless and a waste of space, but i have to try and help other people who feel this way. I have to try. I try to live the quote: if you cant find a brightside, polish the dull. I have god on my side. Thats all i need. Hes my bright side...or the polish. Some of you may think that because we feel like this, or because bad things happen to us, that there is no God because what kind of god would let this happen to us. But remember, its not that god allows bad things to happen to us, its that he is there to help us when they do. We have to trust him. He can help if you let him. Please let him.