I hate it. I mean... I love it, don't get me wrong. But most of the time I feel like if I were to put my story in to some crazy reality show, they would turn it down for sounding unrealistically dramatic.
I am a 17 year old mother of a 9 month old baby.
I live with my 18 year old boyfriend and his parents.
His mother despises me.
I'm terrified of his dad.
I'm in school and he's a high school drop-out/video game addict.
=/ Sometime I just wait for someone to jump out and tell me its all a big joke, (minus the son and wonderful boyfriend part.) It's impossible to get through a day anymore where I don't feel inadequate. I used to believe I was smart, and lately I feel like I haven't been able to get anything right, I miss basic math problems, I botch up simple sentence structures, and can't stay in one perspective to save my life. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and there are days when I just want to throw in the towel.
I miss being a teenager, but I love being a mother. I miss being able to be happy about hanging out with a guy friend or meeting a new friend online, but I love my boyfriend and hate when he gets jealous. I adore my boyfriend and tell everyone he's perfect, but then I turn around and tell him everything he's doing wrong.
I feel like a bitch for doing it... but honestly. I feel like going to school is my 'job' right now. I don't have time for anything else between trying to pass my senior year, be a good mom, be a good friend, and be a good girlfriend. so, I tend to take it out on him, but can you blame me? He plays games wayyyy to much. He told me three months ago that he was going to drop out and immediately get his GED. No progress on that, he hasn't even contact the proper office to get the information, besides when I called once about 6 months ago to see what he would have to do. I want to write, and learn to draw...but I can't. I ask him to take the baby so I can work on a chapter of a story I'm working on, or so when I can home I can relax...and he tells me that he's had the baby all day and its my turn... Who's in the wrong? Who's right? It's impossible to tell.
Anyway, his mother... She can be sweet as can be... But more often than not she's as, my boyfriend likes to call her, 'devil woman.' My boyfriend can throw a tantrum about something and storm off upstairs, and while I'm just sitting there playing with the baby, or feeding him something or another I get to deal with the yelling and screaming about how WE need an attitude adjustment. She knows that I stay up late on the computer, most of the time I spend it on there to improve my writing style, or submit new chapters since I never have time to update anything during the day, and she daily degrades me for that. She'll walk up to my boyfriend and say "Jessi spends her entire damn day on the computer, why don't you take the baby for a walk?"
It's almost embarrassing... you know, since she apparently didn't notice.. I'M SITTING 2 FEET AWAY FROM HER! I get up in the morning, sometimes a little bit later than usual, but nothing serious, sometimes on the weekend I'll wake up at 10 rather than 8, but that shouldn't be a big deal since during the week I get up at 5:30 to make it to my early bird classes. I think I've earned a little sweet something for my weekend. Apparently not.
I guess I just need a little bit of help with that, how do I deal with the oh-so-cliche Evil Mother-In-Law? She honest to God hates me. Her son can do no wrong, and I feel bad about being irritated, since she let me live with them in all, but most of the time all she does is degrade my parenting skills. If I'm on the computer for half an hour, I'm the worst mother in the world, especially since when I'm on the computer its usually when my boyfriend has promised that he would watch him... Imagine my surprise when I find out that my boyfriend 'watching' the baby is putting him in his play pen with a blanket and a bottle and a few toys and getting back on the computer. So, when I'm on the computer after getting home, and he's on the computer all day, not going to school and not going to do any work at the moment, I'm the anti-Christ horrible mother, and he's the 'stay at home dad.'
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