Well, that was unexpected.

SO, I have this exboyfriend who I used to (and still kind of do) think was a total JERK FACE MAN WHORE WHO DIDN'T DESERVE ANYTHING. Well, I haven't talked to him in about 2 years, give or take. And I was just fine with that. I've been mad at him and hated him for the last two years, and I had accepted that.

Sometimes I thought about talking to him and working things out so we could be on good terms, but then I just chickened out or convinced myself not too. I was still angry for the shit he put me through! UGH.

But today I was just messing around on facebook, minding my own business, and he pops up out of no where like "Hey." (I know it's lame he was still my friend, but I hadn't gotten around to deleting him yet...after 2 years...whatever, don't judge).

FREEZE

No shit. My heart skipped about ten beats and my face turned pale white. I was actually afraid. About ten different things popped into my head at once and I couldn't move. How did he do that? WHY DID I EVEN REACT? I CARE NOTHING ABOUT HIM! Except, I do. I don't know what I think.

Anyway, I didn't say anything back because the first thing that popped into my mind was Oh he must have accidently messaged the wrong person. BUT I WAS WRONG. He then said, and I quote:

"I know it's been quite a while since we talked. But I just wanted to apologize for being a MASSIVE dick bag back when we used to talk."

I was frozen still. I just stared at it. And paniced. And stared. I'm such a weird person!

But I was happy. Idk, maybe it was just the fact that he finally said sorry for it. It wasn't exactly the kind of apology I was looking for, but it still meant something. Maybe he actually has feelings and he felt guilty for making my life miserable.

Anyway, we talked for a little bit after that. I found out that he's doing a lot better now than when we used to date...and he didn't really ask about me at all...but that's okay because I don't really want to tell him anything.

So the guy I used to date who RUINED my life for about a year, and the guy I used to wish whose life SUCKED apologized, and now I'm happy that he's doing well. Maybe I underestimated closure.

I just don't want to get sucked back into the terror I went through about two years ago.

I won't get sucked back in.

I even said a few weeks ago that I was done with him and done bitching about him. It was a new beginning for me. And now he decides to come back into my life? UGH. No.

I'm happy but I'm still angry. I think if I ever were to be friends with him again, he'd have some more apologizing to do.

Cause he's still an asshole.

I hate this.

Help. Me.