How about you kiss my butt?

Idk why I put that as my title. Probably because it sums up my feelings about everything right now. I'm not actually in a bad mood today, I've just been kinda blehh this week.

First, I've just started college and classes are picking up and I have a lot of reading to do! And I'm horrible at text book reading because I get so distracted. There aren't any homework assignments, just tests, and normally people would like that but not me! I suck at tests. It's stressful.

Second, my ex-boyfriend of two years decides he wants to talk to me and apologize for all the shit he put me through. It's scary. Idk, why. I've been mad about it for 2 fuckin' years and now idk what to do. I mean I still don't like him, because he's an asshole, but I'm happy he apologized. My feelings are contradicting. Idk what I think. I don't plan on speaking to him anymore, but my head's all jumbled. Which is sad since it's been two years and I seem like I"m not over it yet, but I am! It was just a very scarring time.

Third, PEOPLE. I fuckin' hate crowds and lots of people. I'm not comfortable. I've made a few friends here who are AMAZING, but they go out and meet people and I'm just kinda blahh because I'm not so good at meeting people. I mean I am, but I'm not. I've made friends, but not that many firends, and some are ones I already knew, at least a little bit. God, I just want to be outgoing and meet awesome people who are just like me, and not people that suck balls and drink and smoke and do all this shit I find repulsive. But it's impossible to find people like that, I suppose.

Not that I have a problem with that shit, it's just I don't like hanging around people who do it constantly. I'm not a partier. I'd much rather sit around with good friends watching movies, eating, and talking. But it's hard to make good friends when the people you actually converse with ARE partiers, and make you uncomfortable. I hate people, sometimes. I'm so cynical. Not a good way to make friends. I need to work on that.

I guess I'll have to make it work. I just feel so alone here, sometimes.

AND NOW, my favoritest cousin ever is having problems with her man and I want to fucking kick his ass. Just thought I'd add that because IT MAKES ME MAD. Stupid boys...lets get some shoes.

I'm done.

Read my story? Pwease?