Can my life get any ***ing worse?

My mental health has gone down the tubes.I feel severely depressed,and I really want to commit suicide.I've already planned it.Step by step.
But I just don't know how to help myself.I would see a therapist,but my family is going through an extremely hard time financially,and it'd just be another burden on my parents to have to pay for therapy.
And you wanna know how bad our finances are? We owe 600 dollars to the HOA (Home Owners Association),and if we don't pay it by the end of the month,they'll foreclose on our house.We don't have 600 dollars.My dad is only working 2 days out of the week,part time.That's really hurting us.
And I feel like nobody except my parents care for me.Nobody really gives a shit about me.I cry myself to sleep most nights because of that.I don't have any friends.And I feel like if I can't find love,then why should I be on this earth? I'm just a fatass that's just taking up space in society.I have no purpose whatsoever.
But you know what's weird? My depression is on and off.Like for 3 months,I'll feel really depressed.Then it'll go away,and I'll feel halfway happy.But then it'll come back,worse than it was before.It's really weird.
And I feel like an eating disorder is coming on.The lunchroom is way too crowded,and I hate being around people,so I just hang out in the library,without eating.No breakfast,even.And I thought to myself,"Hey,this doesn't feel that bad." So I just go home and eat one meal,and that's it.And I can already see myself losing weight.And when I do eat something else,I feel like that's a lot of fat going in my body,and I feel like I'll gain back the weight I've lost.So I just eat one meal a day.I know it's bad for you,but I feel like if I lose some weight,someone will actually love me.
I'm a fucking mess.