To You... Here is My Story

****This is Dedicated to My Friends: The Greatest Family a Person Could Ask For****

Listening to some old music, the old memories and feelings flood back, as if I experienced them just yesterday...

I remember the times where I would laugh at almost anything, and everyone started to join in. I remember the times where I would dive myself into hundreds of books, getting into heated discussions with my friends and the librarian, loving every moment of the intensity. I remember how I would decorate banners or laugh at jokes with my friends. I remember the times where we acted like fools, whether it was dancing in the rain or wearing something that made us stand out. I remember the times where we had picnics in the hallway with a bunch of food and no one stopped us. I remembered the times we were all in the classrooms by ourselves and how we would act like idiots and laughed about it. I remember the cherry blossom tree that was on the top of a hill in the playground, how I loved to sit in the bench underneath and stare at the sky, daydreaming of happy things.

I also remember the times where I actually had better relations with my family. How we would take pictures during our family vacations. How we would remember each other's birthdays and went out to celebrate them. I remember the times where we would watch soap operas and we would get completely absorbed in the horrible acting and transitions. I remembered how much I smiled when I mentioned what my nationality was, what my religion was. I remember it...

However, I remember the times where we fell apart. How the arguments got worse. I remember the times where my friends and I would get into arguments about stupid things and wouldn't talk to each other for days, even weeks. I remember how many tears I cried as I began to lose the feelings for my family. I remember how much I cried to God, hoping He would hear my cries of anguish. I remember the times where I would stay awake for hours wondering, "Why me?". I remember the hard decisions I had to make concerning my future. I remember how I learned about the nature of human kind, and how that the people you thought cared about you are the ones that despise and envy you the most.

I remember it all... burned to my head... burned to my heart...

I lost many things. I lost trust in people I have known for years. I lost the love I felt for my family. I lost the feeling of being loved by people who I thought cared about me. I lost many friends due to differences. I lost many things... my sanity, my love for others, many things. I lost my true laughter.... my true smiles. I learned over the years how to disguise my true feelings... a fake smile was created, fake laughter, fake feelings. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, seeing myself lose all emotion, staring at myself with an empty expression... and to this day I may see myself like that, empty and lost.

What do I have now? I have music and art. Diving myself in music brings me back to life, it's exhilarating. Art brings color back into my life, one of the things I lack. And despite losing my family, I have gained another one. I have gained the truest, most amazing friends that a person could ever ask for. Through thick and thin we have have traveled together, and we still have a long way to go. And for some reason, I can trust you with the greatest things in my life, and I hope to be able to forever.

This is for you, my friends, this is my story. I love you all immensely and thank you for being with me for the past couple of years. Let us create new memories and cherish each other for the years to come.