Does this make me selfish?

Tonight I was at a friends house to hang out with a few people. It was my boyfriend, brother, two close friends, their two friends and I. We decided to hang out tonight and just play cards and talk. It's the first time we've done that sober in a long time, so I thought it would be fun and new.

So my brother, friend, boyfriend and I started playing cards. We'd shared a small joint and a small bowl between the four of us and my other friend was mad that she was the only one not high. We offered and she declined so we thought 'whatever' and continued playing the card game. The friend that was having a fit went for a walk and didn't come back for about forty minutes. When she came back she had a bottle of Vex, which is a vodka cooler. Then her two other friends came over already drunk and had mickeys of alcohol of their own which they shared with my other friend who didn't have alcohol.

To clear things up, I wasn't high anymore. My brother and boyfriend were, but I wasn't. And then everyone started getting a buzz and I was completely sober. When they start getting loud and giggly and start slurring their words, I got annoyed. No, annoyed in the wrong word. I became extremely jealous.

Of course the jealously quickly turned into agitation and severe irritability. They'd start laughing at something with 0% hilarity to it and it just fueled my bad mood. Then the friend who bought the Vex cranked the music despite the fact that she lives in a townhouse and has neighbors beside her. My boyfriend got annoyed with that and his bad mood made mine worse. I ended up leaving.

I cannot handle being sober when everyone else is drunk. Even the knowledge of it makes me jealous. Even though I'm at home home, knowing they're all getting drunk is making me crazy. I know it sounds selfish and petty, but I can't help it. It makes me insane when I'm the only sober one, the bored one, the quiet one, the anxious one, the ugly one. When I'm drinking I'm the opposite of all of those. Except the ugly one. I just added that in there because it's what's on my mind.

I'm just in a horrible mood. I know it's pathetic that it's over alcohol, but it's a fact. I need sleep. And a drivers license with a car so I could drive myself to the drug store and get some sleeping pills since this headache and jawache are going to keep me awake.