Am I a bad person?

More than a year ago I posted this journal entry. Today, I remembered writing so apathetically those first sentences. It struck me as odd at the time that I really didn't give a crap about what my brother had done, and, just an hour ago I got the same feeling.

My brother, the big 25 year old, was crying behind closed doors while my father asked for an explanation in a not so calm voice. I, on the other hand, went to the kitchen with my sister to make some juice and tea while we happily chatted about our plans for tomorrow.
Was it odd? I asked my sister about that. She just kept on carefully taking out the ice from the tray, the familiarity of the scene completely sinking in.

It's not odd anymore. It just became part of our routine. After that journal entry at the top, my brother enrolled back into college, and guess what? He dropped out. And it's not like he just says one day "Hey, this career is not for me anymore, I'll try something else"... no, he just simply says nothing and leaves every day at the same hour according to his college schedule but never actually goes to classes. He sits for hours in some coffee shop that gives access to the internet and does NOTHING. At first I told my parents about my suspicions, but they trusted him and accused me of being mean. That's when I decided to stop caring.

Today, the inevitable happened. They again, found out about this and drama ensued. This is the fourth time he does this, and as times before it completely disrupts my parents' lives. My mother suddenly becomes more caring, and my dad more strict. And I just go back to the feeling that I need to get out of this house.

Am I a bad person? I find my brother annoying, yet I do love him, but, I constantly can't stand his presence in the house. I still resent them because he got to leave this place and had the chance I've been dreaming of since I was 16 and threw it all away. I resent him because when he came back he made us live through economic hell. I resent him because I got kicked out of my room, without a freaking warning, for him to be able to come back to live with us. I resent him for the insecurity that has left on my sister, and for the emotional mayhem that he left on my parents. I just resent him.

Just a few days ago I started caring for him again, I felt bad for my dad taking out all his frustrations on him and being much more restrictive and strict with him than he is with me. But, can I still feel the same way after he did this again? Can I just accept the fact that our phone lines don't work, that we get called from the bank everyday for unpaid bills, that I can't pay for my materials for class, while he, in the course of 6 years has blown away God knows how much money doing NOTHING?

I just feel confused and afraid. Will I do the same? Will I inflict the same pain he has inflected on my parents? Will I be a failure?

I really don't know anymore.