September nineteenth, why do you make me feel scared?

The title of this entry is literally the question that keep repeating in my mind. I start college tomorrow and I have no idea why I'm so frightened. I've been to the campus before, but I think it's the people I'm uneasy about. I only have two real friends, one being my boyfriend, but I used to have many friends. Once I moved to another city, they pretty much abandoned me and stopped talking to me. Now they are all getting high or intoxicated for no reason other than for attention, so I'm kinda happy that I don't have to deal with them. Friends= drama. The truth hurts, but that's what it is. My best friend is my boyfriend, which is awesome because we both hate drama haha so we have minimal amounts of it. My other friend is now a long distance friend, but she is busy with college too and her new boyfriend, so we don't talk that much. The cool thing is that we don't need to be in constant contact in order to stay friends, since she is so busy all the time. I've known her since seventh grade and I know that she will definitely be at my wedding haha. But it's really hard to keep friends for so long, since most people change. I on the other hand don't change, I grow. I try not to make mistakes, but when I do I learn from them. One of my characteristics is that I'm always aware of other people's choices. It's something that gets really annoying, but in a way it's saved me from horrible experiences. To put it simply, I learn from other people's mistakes. A lot of people don't because they thing "Oh, that wouldn't happen to me. They just weren't careful," or whatever excuse they come up with. The point is, things happen to EVERYONE, no matter how careful, old, pretty, or experienced you think you are. My grandma was put into the hospital for eight years before she finally died because a careless sixteen year old girl knowingly ran a red light and hit my grandma's car. Her death has taught me to be a very alert driver and not to trust anyone on the road, but also that the same thing happens to other people all the time. I learned from the hurt and death of someone dear to me that you have to live life to the fullest because it could all be taken from you in seconds. Just writing this all out has made me not so scared anymore :] I know my grandma is watching me and will make sure that everything [hopefully haha] will be okay. I look so much like her it's bizarre sometimes, but I feel like it's my mission, on top of everything else I do haha, to spread my knowledge of my past experiences to other people. There is no guarantee that they will understand it, but just trying is worth a shot :]