Random discovery i've learnt from life so far.

A good friend once told me one of the only truths of life “We all have to go through the same mincing machine that is life u go in at one end and get spat out at the other with a million different others all trying to be as tasty as the next”. This got me thinking a lot about my current situation. Stuck in a dead end job, failed to get into uni, not because I didn’t get the grades, but because I lacked the passion. Constantly making excuses for myself as to why I’m in this situation, never blaming myself. But it is my fault, maybe not everything that’s happened to me, but a lot of it is. Maybe if I’d have listened to my parents more, or made some smarter choices. But truth to told, I can’t see into the future, no one can. I can’t make decisions that will help me further down the line if I can’t even see a line. The main thing I’m missing is the guts and the decisiveness to do anything about my future. Even when I do think of something, I chicken out, I can never go through with it. It’s as if I need to have permission to do anything. Maybe that’s the way I’ve been brought up, I’ve always had controlling parents, too scared to say what I really feel to them. Truth is I just want to get away from here, start a new life somewhere different. I believe the crucial choices we make in life are sprung on us too young. I mean who really know what they want to do when they’re 14, all I wanted when I was that age was a boyfriend and the latest I-pod. If I could go back and talk to my then self I would have a lot to say, maybe I’d be sitting here wishing I’d made different decisions. Thing is it’s part of human nature to want what you don’t have, maybe you’ve just got to be happy with what you have and strive to keep moving forward. No one can change the past, the only thing you have control over is the future, even if you do look at it with blind eyes, it’s all you’ve got.