I want to be myself.....again.

Surrounded by people who are suppose to be living their life for Christ. How can we put on a face and let others see that ours lives are perfect. I know not everyones life is perfect. So why do we hide behind a mask and make our lives look perfect. We aren't in high school. In high school everyone trys to be who they aren't. Everyone wants to be the betst they can be. I am even guilty about doing that. But now as adults we are doing the same thing. Going to a christian college I think we all try to make all the people around us think we are someone we truly aren't. Aren't we as a body suppose to be there to uplift and encourage others in the body. You can't let the boby fall apart. But I feel like the uvila in the back of one's throat. I am hidden away, no one thinks about me. I want to be someone who is not forgotten about. I am tired of being there and yet no one notices.

So why am I going to a school full of Christians who put masks and looks as if they aren't going through hard times? Am I the only one on this campus who is hurting? Am I the only one who is alone? Am I the only one who is a loser and has no friends?

I am still amazed. I have spent 8 week, just being myself. It felt good. It felt great to be who I am supposeto be. I am a girl who is shy at first, and not sure of herself but once she gets comfortable she can make friends. I am the person who is not going to let you cry alone. I am the girl who spent 6 weeks in a trailer park. Six weeks with the people who stay up all night drinking, doing drugs, and not taking care of anyone but themselves. It's so weird to think that people like my dad look at them and think that they are "scum of the earth". But I feel in love with Christine, Randy, Sonny, Chris, Bryant, Anthony, Kayla, Chyanne, Megan, Ariel, Makayla, C.J., Dylan, and even the adults that didn't want us there. I love them. I was realy with them.

WHY CAN"T I BE REAL ANYMORE???