Discard.

I've had this void. This really huge, gaping void that you left when you told me we were friends.

My stomach has been doing flips since that day. Flips on empty. Like there's been a hole burned through the lining on my stomach and the acid is spilling on my insides. Burning. And that's not the only emptiness I've felt. I feel like my heart isn't where it is intended to be anymore. I feel like it's been pinned to my outsides, open for everyone to stare at and critique.
It's not just because I'm in love with you. That's not all this is about. I know that I can't expect you to feel the same way about me, and I've accepted that.
It's the way you look at me when you pass by in the hallways. The way you glance over during Calculus. They way your eyes meet mine only momentarily before you turn away. It's almost as if our friendship never existed. Three years. Wasted. Abandoned. Discarded. Gone.
I know, I'm being stubborn. I know I'm not putting forth the effort I should to talk to you. But it's hard to face you. I've kept my heart locked and my walls up for so long, and I let you tear those down because I trusted you. Of the 2000+ people at my school, you've been the only one I've honestly trusted with myself entirely.
I wish I could talk to you. Talk about everything, and we wouldn't leave this alone like we've been. I wish the hugs weren't awkward and the conversations weren't only two words. I miss you, and I think that's as much as I can leave it at.

As for every other I keep mentioning, it's only to see if you still care. They mean nothing to me, and I honestly don't see them the way I see you.
I just wish I did.