30DOP: Everybody wants to change the world.

4: Your childhood.

Childhood. Hoods of childs. Childs of hoods. Hooded children....

Childhood. Everyone has one. We all are children at some point. Some say it is our childhoods that form us into the adults we are today. And I agree, in a way, with this. There are generalisations saying that if you have a messed up childhood then you're gonna be a messed up adult, but I don't believe this to be true. Yes, you can have a messed up childhood, but it is up to you how you let it affect your life. In some cases though, some things are really bad and can't be gotten over, but that's not my point.

I had a fairly bad childhood, like a lot of people, it wasn't home sweet home and love everyday. It was bullying and depression and alcohol. I think I was depressed before I even released it. I self harmed before I really knew what I was doing to be honest, all I knew was that it helped and made all the shit stop.

Anyways, I spent years being depressed thinking about the past. I turned to anything I felt could help; cutting, drinking, sex, drugs. I was about 18 when I hit rock bottom. I realised that if I kept going that I wouldn't make it past christmas. It was a scary thought. I wanted to be able to make a change, wanted to look back and be proud that I stopped.

I got through it without help, no psychiatrists, pills, therapy. Just a strong mind telling me that i'd get through it. And I did, yeah I have my bouts every now and again, but I don't let myself go back to that. When I look back now i'm proud of myself for getting out and making that change.

And if I ever have children, well I'd try my best to make sure it wasn't anything like mine.