The modelling agent gave us her card.

Yesterday couldn’t have been more different to Friday if it tried.

On Friday, I nearly cried in last lesson for no apperent reason and was meant to be going to my friends house after school, but I needed up getting upset and bailing out because I couldn’t deal with being around anyone. So I stayed home all day crying my heart out over how hideous I am. I couldn’t even bring myself to go downstairs and talk to my mum or any of my friends. I can’t talk to anyone because I’ll start crying and I look disgusting when I cry. So, it was a pretty shitty day as you can imagine. It happens a lot, I just you know look in the mirror and sit in my room for the next few hours and cry. I’m used to it.

And then on Saturday, I went to town with my friend to see Gok Wan in Cabot’s Circus. I actually saw him with my own eyes. It was amazing he’s just such an inspirational person and just so like beautiful inside and out. People asked him questions and someone asked him what he would like to do in a few years or something along those lines, and he said “I would like to settle down and have kids” at which point everyone in the room went “awwwh” to me, that coming from a gay guy is really sweet. I don’t know why but just so sweet. And he also something along the lines of “Everyone is beautiful and if they think they’re not then they need to come and see me.” I’m so bummed out that I get to be closer to him or that I didn’t actually get to talk to him. Wow, I would love to have him to talk to about the how shit I feel, but that’s never going to happen so there is really no point in ever considering it.

During the show, me and my friend had to be standing next to this lady who you know turned out to be a modelling agent and just happened to give us her card. I’m still pretty sure that she was offering it to my friend really and just to me to be polite because I really can’t think of any other reason as to why a modelling agent give me her card.

Of course as you can imagine my and friend freaked out totally and were like “OH MY GOD! She just gave us her card. WOW WOW WOW!” and while we were making our way to the DVD shop we went into Pulp. Where the hot worker guy came over and started talking to us about Gok Wan. HE TOUCHED MY CAMERA. I asked if they had any Green Day shirts just to see what they have and then he bought over this amazing one. But I didn’t have enough money for it… so he was like “well, it will be waiting for you.” And then he said his name was Zane and asked for our ones and shook our hands.

While we sat in Mcdonalds running over everything and just being totally speechless. We got up and decided to go see the being human house. Which was about twenty minutes walk away and we ran most of the day.

When I got home I felt a bit stupid for freaking about the modelling agent cause nothing had happened and all she asked “us” to send some photos in. But I just find it a bit weird that the day after I’m in my room crying, I go see Gok Wan, get a modelling agent’s card, meet Zane and see the being human house.