What Do You Think When You Respect Someone Who's Given You An Abusive Comment?

So if you've been reading my work you should already know some of this story.

I posted my story 'Venus Doom' on the LiveJournal community HIM FanFiction, and I received lovely comments. Than after posting the third chapter a user we'll call Doggy, left me the most hateful comment I've ever received. The first time anyone had ever left me a bad comment, (not that I think everyone likes my writing, but I've been posting my work on the internet for six years and it was a little shock.)

She said it was a joke, that I was a disgrace to literature. That she had enough of seeing these kinds of stories written in the gene of fanfiction. That we made serious writers look bad. She said the name I chose for my character, Jade, was a joke. She also said she was a complete Marry-Sue, self-insertion, and that I was clearly just writing it for vanity. She said that my word choice was shitty, and would I stop writing for the sake of literature. She also used a lot of swearing and was more than condescending and disrespectful. She claimed to be a published author, so her word was golden.

I had a break down after reading this. I knew that she was either a Troll trying to get my goat, or she was just a bitter person who liked to crush people's dreams. Yet I still allowed it to really effect me. I thought, "Maybe she's right, maybe all the great feed back people have given me was just a mistake...Maybe my teachers, friends, mother and everyone else who has ever read my writing in person has lied to protect my feelings. Maybe I've wasted ten years of my life writing stories that are shit. Maybe my favorite teacher Slope, who acted like she couldn't wait to read another one of my short stories was juts being nice, and she was being nice when she told the crowd at my Graduation, that she was sure she was going to see one of my books in a shop window someday and that she would buy it right away..." That last thought really crushed me because Slope helped me get through my Senior year and without her I would have never made it. I both loved and respected her and to think she lied just to protect my feelings kills me.

These are two positive comments from Mibba users, that have been posted on my stories:

"Seldom have I ever wandered across a story in which can entrance the mind and capture the soul in an endless waltz of emotion and belief. Rarer still for me to leave a message of the great enjoyment I have earned from reading your work. Truly I am hard pressed to find a better writer for I have come across none. I shall look forward to watching your story progress and to see what the future may hold for such a talented individual. Best wishes,
de' Aria Bizarre'."

"Lil'xMissxScarexAll,or Violet (which ever you like to called,lol)
You have a wonderful writing ability. I can not get enough of your stories!
I've read each posted story and am completely drawn in like a moth to a flame.
You truly could be the next Anne Rice! (whom I also a love for. As well as dear sweet Ville.)
Keep up the wonderful work! Kudos to you my dear.

Amelia (you can call me Lia if you like..I feel Amelia's far too formal.)"

My teacher Slope wrote a letter of reference for me, and this is just a tiny part where she comments on my writing skills:

"Violet has excellent verbal and written communication skills, (there is some more here but I'll skip it,) Violet is also an extremely talented artist and writer. Her stories are compelling and give witness to her achievements as a word smith and her understanding of plot, theme and character. Alice Brickner "(Her nick name is Slope.)

So I had to know. I had to know that this person was the kind of person who made hateful comments all the time. I looked at her Journal and the first post I click on is a review of a HIM concert she went to. She spends much of the review making fun of the other fans at the show. She says terrible, hateful things about them. When posting a picture of herself with her friend before the show, she comments that she thinks she's an ugly fatty. (Unfortunately, she was....) I started to think maybe she was just a bitter person with low self-esteem who had to put down others to feel better about herself.

Than I read her latest entry, where she had posted links to my story and the comments we shared. I had tried to defend myself at first before just giving up, because she was set on being right and making me look stupid. Her friend's comments went as: "Yeah, I read the first few lines and closed it feeling sick." and another person brought up my posts on Valo_Daily which had nothing at all to do with my writing, she said, "Isn't that the girl on valo_daily who wears purple lipstick?" Than Doggy replies: "Yeah, the one who's good at the fat girl angle."
Didn't it prove that she was just bitter? Maybe even jealous because I'm not vain, but my icon was a nice picture of me and I am pretty girl. You can look at my photos and see, I'm a bit on the heavy side, but I am not fat. I'm 5'7 and I weigh 160 LB, the heathy weight for my height and frame is 150 LB. 10 pounds over weight is not fat. She shouldn't have been anyone to comment on weight as she was at lest three times my size. The fact they brought my sense of fashion and appearance into it just farther proved that they were just trying to feel surperior.

But I was still hurt, for some reason at that moment I thought that because others were agreeing with her and enjoying the fact she made me feel like shit, (despite the fact she claimed that she could give a shit if I cried about it or not) I still started to believe it. My depression wanted to hold onto it and make me suffer. So I messaged her saying that I would never write again, that she had won and I hoped she was happy that she had crushed my dreams.

The reply was not what I expected. She was nice! She told me that it wasn't personal. (hadn't it gotten personal when she called me fat?) that she just loved writing and her pet peeve was people trying to write when they had no talent for it, and she made sure to tell me that I had none and that I should try something else. We began to talk a little, because I was curious and confused. I read some of her writing and it was very good and I stared to respect her as a writer which made all this even more complex. Why try to be nice now? Because she was a published author and she wanted to crush anyone's spirit who might later be completion?

That is what still has me confused to this day. Why be nice? That's when I thought, maybe she just is a sad person, who hates themselves and isn't aware that she's a bitch putting people down because it gives her satisfaction to feel better than someone else. Maybe she thinks she is really right and it's all subconscious. Or of coarse there is always the chance that I am a bad writer and just no one has told me and I'm wasting my time.

Which do you think it is? I would like to know what others think about this, or if they've had a similar experience?

As a note, I am aware that I can't please everyone and that I have to learn how to take bad comments if I'm going to be a writer. I'm working on not taking good or bad comments completely to heart, but it's not easy.