I'm 14-years-old, and I've been cutting myself for a while now. People just don’t understand why I do it. All my friends say to quit, but if you have ever cut for a while, you know that it’s not that easy. Normal people don’t understand that the pain is addicting.
People around me ask why I cut. I've only told a few people and they just don’t get that I don’t want to tell them. I've told my friends that I've stopped. I still cut every now and then. It’s hard to stop. The pain... It’s like a drug.... It makes me feel better..... I can’t describe it. It’s just I can’t stop. The pain makes me happier. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s hard to explain.
My friend says that I'm doing it for attention, that’s why nobody knows I still cut. I actually don’t want the attention, I hate it. I wish people would stop asking me stupid questions. She just doesn’t get it. I hate being the way I am if I don’t cut. My friends hate that I used to cut and they bring it up every time we have a fight.
My life has just been a wreck since I moved. It’s just been one disaster after another. I've tried to talk to my parents about my problem, but I can’t tell them that I've been cutting. I can’t tell them I’m depressed. I put on a smile around them to make it seem as if there is no problem. I’m not sure how much longer I can do it for. I need to tell somebody, but nobody I know understands.
Nobody sees why I cut and why I can’t stop... Nobody... all people say is to quit and that I’m doing it for attention. No, I’m not! Have any of these people that say people cut themselves for attention ever stopped to think that the cutters actually need help? I need professional help that I can’t get yet. That’s why I self-mutilate. I can’t talk to anybody about my pain and this is my way of solving it.
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