Why me?

Why me is the only formidable question at best to ask when your own mother and sister are keeping things from you.

Not even after working a favor for a boss or even former boss because who knows how long that job of mine will last with my guess-timations.

But when I guesstimate I’m usually dead on and with what I found out and deduced....

I should of quit ages ago I should of returned my uniform and hat and found a better job and maybe I wouldn't of found out about what happened.

But it’s too late now I already somewhat know and there's nothing that I can do because the deeds/ words have been said.

I don't even know the who what when why and how I just know it was yesterday and that two people that normally tell me shit aren't telling me anything at all, and I’m afraid and scared to know the truth because I’ll be bullying all over again the painful memories the shyness everything will make me revert back to the 'old' me.

I don't want that I actually like the new me and how I’ve gotten out of my shell more and more and started seeing a therapist and unloaded my life-story onto her in the matter of three and a half hours and then some.

Am I such a bad person that I’m willing to help others and be nice to those around me that those that I’m nice to will talk behind my back and say things about me when I’m not around?

I... I guess so because its apparently happening that no good deed goes unpunished and my good deed is being nice to others and helping out one of the best people I’ve come to know in the world but people who are mere years younger than me taunt and talk about me behind my back and I find out through different channels that such acts happen and it’s just.... why me?