To Fool Oneself

Why do all of my memories have to end up being bittersweet? Is this really what people have to look forward to all of their lives? A lifetime of staring out the window and remember what used to be and what could have been?

What kind of life is that to live? Strikes me as a bit more than pathetic. Perhaps it wouldn't, if we weren't constantly force-fed hopey-feely philosophical silliness. After all, people have a lot of philosophical things to say in answer to such questions. But, you know...they strike me as a little more than utter nonsense. Things people have heard, made up on their own, or a combination thereof to make themselves feel better about life and their lot within it.

"It's not what you get out of life, but what you put into it/leave behind."

"You only do as well as you let yourself in life."

"There is a reason things happen the way they do."

"It'll all turn out okay, because you deserve goodness in your life. It's your turn."

These things and others like them are nonsense. I suppose some people need these silly little sayings, need to fool themselves by repeating them or discussing them, but to me it seems beyond a waste of time and useless.

Convincing yourself that something is true does not make it true. It just makes you weak and adept at lying to yourself. These things aren't the same as truth.

So, what is the meaning of life, then? Don't be ridiculous! As harsh as it might sound, there is no meaning of life. No secret to happiness which is or ever could be universal.

What does destiny say about us, then? Nothing, there is no such thing in any conventional definition. If it did exist, I suppose it would be what the individual made of it. But, it doesn't. I think the idea of this scares many people.

Many who would rather have some sort of universal power or standard tipping toward a societal idea of justice, of righteousness to help them feel better about the state of the world and their own lives. To help them feel taken care of, provided for. To quiet their fears, worries, and uncertainties. To help them feel less alone in the world and that no matter what their life means something in the "grand scheme of things." To quiet their fears of death and what may or may not happen after.

But, I'm one of the unlucky ones (depending on how you look at it) who cannot delude themselves into believing such hogwash.

True that your life is what you make of it. True that you have to put your own time and effort into it. But, make no mistake, your life is worth no more than that of a single daisy's life in proportion to the lifespan of the earth itself. You are here now and nothing will have changed the fact that at one time you lived, walked, and breathed. You may even do something grand for mankind, but in time you, like all who have come before you and all who will come after you will be forgotten. Eventually, too, will your contribution to mankind, no matter how awesome it was. Some achievements take longer to forget, but they will be forgotten.

Likewise, there is no eternal punishment or reward. Murderers are unlikely to be languishing in fiery pits or tortured by demons or made to do impossible tasks. People who live righteously are not going to find pearly gates, mansions sitting on or made of clouds, or be afforded perfect wings and pretty harps when they die. These are fantasies that some people need to lessen their fears of dying, to trick themselves into behaving, and to comfort themselves when they are wronged by others.

And, though, to many these things are nice, comforting thoughts or even necessary to certain weak-willed individuals, these motivations for such beliefs do not make them truth by any means. However, these desires and needs may be inherent within humans enough that it explains (although far from magical or extraordinary) why such beliefs in one form or another for many have stood the test of time. Not because they are true, but simply because so many find them necessary to believe for their own peace of mind.