Woman's Power

Disclaimer: I don't pretend to know the rules of life or assume that my assumptions are correct. I wrote this last night on impulse because I finally figured out why, or could be the reason why, it is so difficult for a lot of females to be friends with males. I think I have done pretty good so far though...and would like to share it.

I've never considered myself particularly pretty, but as I grow older I realize that I have a certain power. Each woman has it; it's engraved in our DNA. What separates one female from another is whether she uses her gifts and how. It's the power to manipulate ( a rather harsh word) men.

Quite honestly, I am a very nice girl. I make friends easily and people know they can trust me. I'd never stab someone in the back and keep gossip at a safe .001 %.
But I've noticed something...a factor I should have noticed a long time ago and maybe I did..I just never let it become clear...
Males are drawn to me.

At first, I refused to believe it. Like I said, I'm not all that attractive (in my opinion) and I don't give off any suggestive vibes that would highlight me as a target. It took a special male friend to make me realize what it was: RESPECT

Now, we all know that males think about one thing primarily, and there is no denying what that is. But that doesn't mean all males lack respect. And without even trying, I've earned it. A few factors that helped me:

-I adjust easily to conversations because I can figure out what people are all about within a few minutes. It's not hard: a man who talks about cars is much more different than one who hits you with current health practices and atomic theory (Both types are actually quite interesting and neither stands above the other. But you do have to adjust while not lowering your own intelligence if you expect to establish an acquaintance or other type of relationship).

-Learn to listen. Guys like to talk about things that interest them. Even if the topic bores you, attempt to learn more about it. Do it in a way that you contribute to the conversation instead of turning it into "blond 101".

-Jokes. It doesn't matter how serious the guy is; all of them like to joke. The hard part is figuring out what kind of jokes are suitable. Dirty jokes (not an overload...because that's their job) usually works for most. Not plain out gross "dirty" but teasing is acceptable. The exceptional few males require you to do your homework. :)

-Intention. Do not eve start out with intentions other than friendship. Don't omit flirting because it's harmless, but don't make them think you expect a full blown romance. Be smart...friendship is a lot more valuable in the end...and they will value you more (even if things were to happen) because nothing was your fault since you never expected things to escalate in the first place.

-Don't bash on girlfriends or ex's. Even if the guy is practically begging you to join him in bad-mouthing an ex or current girlfriend...be the bigger person. Don't judge him but simply say how sorry you are about his situation and say that you hope things get better. You are still on his side and you don't have to contribute to petty drama. Later, you will be remembered fondly and will earn a new measure of trust.

-Hanging out. Always make sure you ask his girlfriend (if he has one) if it's ok you two hang out. This way, she knows her opinion matters to you and realizes that you probably won't overstep your place. If she says it's fine, good, if it's a "no" nod and smile....say you understand. The girlfriend always has rights...and you are WRONG if you go against her wish. You will get nick-named whore or something of the like, I promise.

-Crushes. If your friend likes you...has no gf...and you like him back...start off slowly and let the relationship grow. Make sure you tell him that if it doesn't work out, you will still be there after unless it bothers him. Remember, you were friends way before bf/gf.
@ If he likes you...has no gf...but you don't really share the same feelings...try not to lead him on. Flirting is usually unavoidable, but make sure he knows that you are not sure about the two of you and doesn't get his hopes up too high.
@If he likes you and has a gf, and you like him back....make sure you don't plaster a sign reading "Boyfriend stealing hoe" on yourself. Be a good friend...support him in his decisions...nothing changes...except that he trust you more for it and may actually make a break from his girl ("it just wasn't working out'). Give it some time, and then you can act. Sometimes, they don't break up, but you still remain in his good graces and eventually learn to accept your position as his bff.
@If he likes you...has a gf...but you don't like him...keep being his friend. Encourage his happiness and if they break up...just continue being friendly...urge him to date other people who are not you. ;P

Girls can be friends with guy; it just comes with strings attached. Crushes form, but it's how we handle the situation that matters. Males are always looking...even when they are head over heels in love with their girlfriends. Have respect for yourself, and they will have respect for you. Don't brand yourself the school slut because you kissed your guy friend while he was in a relationship...it hurts you more than it does him. Because he lost a girlfriend (maybe) but he will find another or get that one back...but you lost a friend and everyone's respect. Don't give into impulses and you will be remembered for it. Your best friend may become your love, and it will be because he knew that when he was weak, you weren't. You remained friend until the end.

So, yes, it is like a big manipulative game but guys play it, too. Play by the rules and you will come up the winner...break them...you will lose. Sure, guys have physical strength, but girls have something better. We have control. :P As long as you are on top of the situation, yo are in control. Don't be a bitch about it..you an do this without hurting people...just be smart.

But remember, every rule has exceptions. ;)