Dear Lover,

I havent been able to sleep tonight.
My face is stained with tears and makeup, along with my pillow.
Ive tangled myself in my covers, filling my head with thoughts of how we used to be. I keep replaying our fight... and wishing I could take back everything I had said. But I cant take it back, because then I would be lying.
I wish we could have gone back to those easy times, when nothing came between us. Go back to when we would roll around the covers every Saturday morning... Remember how you would always sneak out the window when you heard my dad coming?
I told you I didnt care about what you did, but in truth, ive cried about it every night since it happened. I told you it didnt bother me, but its all I ever think about these days...
I keep thinking about our first date, when you wrapped your arms around my waist and held me tight. I can picture the smile you gave me, hearing the words you whispered into my ear. The way you brushed my cheek with your nose and the feel of your lips on mine...
We planned our future out together, every single part. You always disagreed when I wanted to name my daughter Ryan, but I think you secretly liked having a girl with a guy name. You said our daughter would look absolutely beautiful, do you still want to have a baby with me?
I still cant take my necklace off, even though I know I should. The blue heart you gave me for my birthday... its never left my neck... and I never want it to. Because taking it off would mean that I didnt care about you, and I care more than you would ever know.
Somehow I feel like everything that has happened is my fault, like I should appologize for everything that has come between us. I know I couldnt have stopped what happened, but I still wish it never occured. You talked to me as if you hated me and it broke my heart, but I think I deserved it. And even worse than me lying here alone all night, I fear that I lost your love.

Dear Lover,
Please dont leave me. I love you more than words could ever describe. Please dont ever let me go.