.:.Cold Flames.:.

How I feel equals .:.Dead.:. Depression hurts, simply put. It has the touch of the coldest flames of our inner fire. I want to be full of life, of living, of hope, of redemption, I want to be completely free, but the kiss depression plants on me is so draining that most days I'm instead missing something as I wear chains. I try to break out but it appears to some as though I'm not. What else am I supposed to do? Sometimes just breathing takes up more energy than I have. I've already had the anti-depressants. You know what those really gave me? A liking for pills, every time I get extra sad or low like this, I crave a bottle of pills, whatever kind, just as long as they leave me drugged and sedated. Refusing to touch anymore pills is now where I am, and I suffer the consequences in mood swings and headaches. I know I'll be stuck with this depression for the rest of my life, and it's terrifying to think about, I'm too young to be so old. My username meaning is this, the realization of all it takes to keep breathing through the sharp stabs of pain, that's what I like to call OxygenFrost.