Trust and Betrayal: An Interchangeable Relationship

I go through each day with a pain that can never will diminish. I feel unloved. I am a burden to everyone and everything.

I don't see a point in my existence. The people who I thought loved me really consider me a burden, and I feel so betrayed by it.

The friends that I have known for the longest consider me a nuisance. It makes my heart hurt every time I think about it.

For this very reason, the trust that I had in others is gone. I have decided to keep my pain and suffering locked within me. I won't let it out even as it floods my thoughts.

I don't want to be a pain to anyone anymore.

Have you ever felt like this?

Have you ever felt that your whole world was going to crash within seconds and you couldn't do anything about it?

Well, I definitely feel like that.

Why I feel like that?

Well, it started yesterday when my dad and I had an argument. My mom made it worse with a sexist comment saying that I had no right to talk to him like that since he was male.

Then I ran out of the house.

I was in the woods for about an 1hr and 30 mins total.

I would have never went back either.

And here's where the trust issues start: i told some friends.

I told 4 of my friends.

1 of them didn't respond since she was sick.
2 of them answered and was worried.
The other friend betrayed my trust.

I told them all not to tell ANYONE. But that last friend of mine had to tell her mom, and she told my parents about it.

Then I had to stay at there house.

And I thought they were okay with it.

But apparently not.

They thought I was a nuisance and I was wasting their time and resources.

I never felt so hurt in my life.

So I am back to where I started, more hurt than ever.

My heart continues to throb in sadness, and it seems like it will never go away.