I think Procrastinator should be my middle name.

To start off first...I'M A HUGE PROCRASTINATOR! Damn it. Worse one you'll ever find.

It's Junior year now. People usually say its one of the toughest years in your high school career. You take the SAT's, start looking for college's you'll like to apply to, yada yada. I knew it would take alot of dedication and hard work. But so far...I'm just such a lazy a**. It's like i want to get my work done. I really do. But when i get home i do something else. Something that would even do me any good just kill my time. Ehm, like facebook, twitter and my tv shows :P

It's really getting to me now because i don't have a lot of time. I only have this year to step up my game and be the person I've wanted to be. But the problem is i wait till the last damn minute. My dad always compares me to my younger brothers in which they're super smart and have the capacity to do everything. It should have been in which he brags about to my brothers. But i feel like I've failed him. I've failed myself :( My dad's in the health care field and he's proud that I've chosen to be in the health care field too as well when i finish college since my brothers HATE anything that has to do with medicine. So you know...he expects alot from me.

Why? Why is this happening to me?! I only have 2 more year left of high school then I'm on my own. Ms. Independent. More like Ms. I'll never grow up :/ *sigh*
I stress about alot of things these days i feel like my minds going to explode. I drown myself in intense romance novels and in the end i become/fell very pathetic and even depressed. Why you ask? Because i hate the fact that I'm so lonely. Ive never had a guy that's 'liked' me before. Ive tried so hard to get attention but now i think...it's no use. I give up. I give up on everything. Every time i wake up in the morning for school the word that comes out of my mouth is 'i hate school. i hate school. i hate school. F*ck." I'm just sick of everything.
Why is being a teen so freaking hard? Ive always wanted to have the best teen years of my life. But now...yeah, not so much.

Help! :O