.:.Ink Bleed.:.

Breaking it down begins with answering the call to a hidden past. Cry enough tears to make yourself drown in the water. Cut your flesh with the razor until you see blood droplets. Shove a pill in your mouth and relax as the slow poison seeps in. Taste your tears that are pure salt. This is the life I know I love but what about you, how does it make you feel to have yourself exposed to such disasters? This isn't my life, no, this isn't your life, it shouldn't be anyone's. The nightmares and fears come to me when I let my walls down. When I let myself smile and laugh and feel alive. I would rather be the solution than part of the problem because there's already without me too many people who are glad to accept the position of trouble makers. I know how it feels. To be awake but want to sleep, to have life expand on your worst character traits but want to be good, to shoulder the burdens, to lock the doors to rooms in your mind that you never should've entered, to find a flaw in your best of intentions, to want to get out but get sucked in, it's the lies, the 7 letter lie the biggest of them all. Cutting isn't always a death wish, it's a release where you're finally in total control of how deep the knife goes in that other people stab in your side. It's self-abuse, that's why it's wrong as well as it seems right in the moments. Being labeled a pill popper isn't very flattering, but it has it's bonus. It's similar if not the same, when it's yourself hurting yourself nobody else can be blamed really, it forces you to re-evaluate who you are next to who you need to be but if you do it any other way and let someone else take you for a ride that's when they can take full responsibility for how you coped towards what they broke. I've heard so many times things like, "See what you made me do? I cut myself and it's your fault," but that's not the truth now is it? We do what we want in dealing. Don't be a hypocrite and say you've never been there where you've been desperate. You may not have ever even once, took the blade to your skin and sliced or swallowed down a pill whether it's an anti-depressant or whatever else, but everyone goes through a traumatic life experience at some point turning them into ice. For all the excuses and reasoning and explanations, it always seems like there's a need for more. Self-medicating in order to be numb so you don't have to feel like crap as you survive the days is never the right solution. If you wanna make a mistake, going against what I just said would be that outing. "You know, the scars I gave myself are a real thing of beauty, but the scars other people left me with, those are what's ugly." -Me. I changed, and so can you. You answered your call when you stopped the bleeding. Every inner wound still bleeds, but it's never like it was. ~OxygenFrost