I bet you got pushed around. Somebody made you cold...

Ive had a friend for going on three years. Her life has been much harder than mine, so when she blew little things way out of proportion, or flipped out at me or others around, I made it my mission to make it better. Even if I knew deep down, it wasn't my fault and/or job to fix things for her I wanted to help make her life better because it made me feel good to know i made a difference.
Putting a great amount of effort into a friendship is draining. I think it would be worth it if i was getting at least a fraction of what I was putting out back again but the hard truth is that she just didn't care enough about anyone but herself. She took advantage of me as often as she could. She ditched me for cooler and funner friends and when they let her down she would come crawling back and I would never voice how upset it made me because I'm never confrontational and I just didn't feel it was worth it. She tricked me into thinking my feelings weren't worth it.

Being a friend goes both ways. You cant take everything from a person and expect them to stick around forever. I only have so much to give and I'm all dried up. If I thought she would change her ways, or even do at least one nice thing for me, I wouldn't have a problem with sticking with her but I know that just wont ever happen. I'm sick of getting ditched. I'm sick of getting let down, time and time again. I'm sick of her little insults and bring fake to everyone and her shit talking and I'm sick of getting hurt.

For what? For nothing. Ive wasted three years of my life and countless hours thinking about how she was, making sure she was okay, trying to stop her from hurting herself, when she was really just crying for attention. I hate being called a bitch because I don't check up on her when you post depressing things on facebook but I know better than anyone she isn't looking for help, shes just looking for pity and attention.

I don't know who I'm going to talk to now at school. I will probably be spending quite a few weekends alone but I say its worth it to be able to say she cant effect me anymore. Shes already started with the bitchy anonymous comments on twitter and facebook, but now I can honestly say I don't give a shit.
I realize no one read this, but that's okay. I just needed to get it all out.

...But the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road