He thinks we're friends again. I don't know what to say. He's been nice today and I've missed him like crazy. I lost a part of me when we stopped being friends. I'm so happy that I actually talked to him. Well... kinda. I don't know. I shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast. I'm not even sure we are friends. We're just kinda getting along better than before.
I just wish this whole thing never happened. I wish that we would've stayed friends and never stopped. I wish that the first day he saw me when school started, I would've run up to him and he would've wrapped his arms around me, showering me with his love. Yes, he loved me. Like, LOVED me. I don't know if he still does, but he did. He meant EVERYTHING to me. He doesn't mean everything to me anymore, but he does a bit. He matters. I came home today in a great mood. I laughed... and I don't laugh. He changes me. He completes me. I was so depressed from August to November. Ask anybody. It was horrible. I wish that that never happened. I wish that he would've never made fun of me, been a horrible person, and most of all I wish that we would be like we were before. Friends that would be so happy to see each other. We would laugh, he'd send me poems, and he'd joke about me being short. But at the beginning of the year that just stopped. Like STOPPED completely! He wouldn't even look at me.
But the thing is, is that now we MIGHT be friends, but he'll change his mind. I know it. I just do. It will happen and I will hate him for that. Then we'll be friends again. That's how it happened last year. On November 23rd, we would've been friends for exactly one year. But that's not gonna happen because we stopped. I don't know. I'm happy now, but I don't know if I'll stay happy. All I know is I'm not going to stay too close to him. Not as close as before. I don't want to get hurt again.
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