Lost a Friend

This is my word vomit as of today. School problems... and or bitchy ex-friend problems.

I lost a friend recently. Not to death... it feels like it if you ask me. But from a horrid fight. We were sister ya know. Like genuine sisters. We did everything. Shopped, talked, breathed together, and cried over the same things, smiled at the stupidest things. If we were celebrating something we’d be the first ones there getting everyone stoked. When I lost something dearly to me she was there, and when she lost something I’d be the first person at her place. We wrote together. The best role plays ever. They made me laugh. I still look at them when I think about what happened. I remember when we were in 8th grade; we made a birthday cake for the kick off of the Harry Potter series. It technically wasn’t a cake but it was chocolate frosting, we burnt the cake. But it’s those memories that I still think of. But when I pass her in the halls there nothing but hate radiating from my eyes and hurt running through my veins. But when I’m alone and a song comes on that reminds me of… her. I can’t help but to think of how we would be in my basement and dance till there was no way in hell we could move any part of our bodies. I still remember the day she told Alex to ask me out. She was pushing and prodding him to just take a chance even though he was scared shitless. She made the difference in a 2 year relationship and it kills knowing that if Alex and I ever end up together forever, I have her to thank when I don’t want to thank her because of what she did. She doesn’t know what she did wrong, but in reality she knows well what she did. She did the same thing I did to her. And only God knows she does deserve every ounce of it. But that makes me feel like the bad guy. Like I’m the little demon in the world and she’s the angel that every guy loves, with her flawless everything. But what I see is her every imperfection. Every little line means something in that tiny 5 foot 1 inch body of hers. But the scary thing is… she knows every imperfection of mine to and she knows every secret that ever left my lips. But I know her… so what does that leave us? I fucked up teenage drama story that Hollywood just can’t wait to get their hands on is what. I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. But the thing is… she did the same thing too.