I need to stop. P.S. Homophobic up in here.

There is no mention of any homophobic things in this journal. But I got you to click it, eh?

Have you ever been one of those people who refuses to let themselves feel good about something? I'm that girl.

My weight has been an issue my entire life. I grew up as "the fat girl", all throughout elementry school, but when I loved to a new town, I changed that, losing about 50 lbs. Then , I gained a lot of it back, in eigth grade. Now, I'm doing okay. Lately, I've been losing a lot of weight and feeling okay about it. Right now, I pulled out my "skinny jeans" as I called them, from seventh grade, when I was the skinniest I'd ever been. They fit. Instead of letting myself feel good, I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but think of my "best friend's" words, "You're fat."

I say "best friend" in quotes, because, obviously, we're not so close anymore. This girl, who used to be so close to me, has had a great body her entire life, and always gets attention from guys for it. And as we were arguing, I found out what she's always thought but neevr been cruel enough to say: that I was fat, in her eyes.

And everytime I look in the mirror, I see her saying it. She doesn't think it was a big deal, but it was.

Everyone's been complimenting me on my weight lately, but it doesn't seeem right to me. I'll never look like some of the girl's in my grade. I look at senior girls, and I know that when I'm a senior, I'll never be that tiny. Heck, I'll never look like that as a freshman.

And that's all I have to say about that.