Stop!

Stop! You expect too much from me! I cannot do it all, and I will not do it for you. I am important, and I will make my own desicions. You are all pulling me in different directions, and I cannot follow you all.

"Be a dancer!"

"Be a writer!"

"Be a mathematician!"

"Be a good girl!"

"Be a bad girl!"

"Eat!"

"Starve!"

"Stay intact!"

"Obey the Serpent!"

"Stay pure!"

"Have sex!"

"Dress modestly!"

"Show it off!"

"Focus on school!"

"Focus on music!"

"Focus on friends!"

"Sing soprano!"

"Sing alto!"

"Get help!"

"Deal with it!"

"Katie!"

"Katherine!"

When you look at me, you are seeing me through a veil of your own expectations and paradigms. You want to shape me in your own image, or worse, shape me in an image from your imagination as if I was nothing more than a lump of modeling clay to be used for your own purposes. There are always a few things in common. You want me to grow, to gain. You want me to heal over and not bleed anymore. You want me to, "do well," and, "get better."

But how?

You act as if I would simply follow your words, your senseless advice, and wake up recovered. You don't realize that you are the reason I am broken. You all pulled me in different directions and I cracked, broke, bled, scarred. Let go of me. Let me find my way, discover who I really am, in a world free from the spiderwebs of your exectations and I will come back and tell you what I found.