I'm Back!

I needed to clear my head.

I think, in the end that's what it really came down to. It had NOTHING to do with anyone on mibba, but it had to do with people outside of mibba, in real life. And I've dealt with some things, and I've been figuring my life out and I think I'm ready to come back and be good to you guys.

I guess it started when Andrew and I started dating. I had a boyfriend, I was in this fairytale. But it wasn't all that great. We never saw each other, he hated my family, he was weird and annoying, we faught CONSTANTLY. Eventually I guess he couldn't take it anymore and he broke up with me. I took that really hard, sadly. I never thought I was the kind of girl who would care about that, but it turns out that I was. He broke up with me IN SCHOOL WHILE I STILL HAD CLASSES LEFT.

Yeah, he's an a**-hole.

But I took it really hard, and I cried a lot, sometimes I stll do. I don't really know what to think because I wasn't by any means in love with him. I think it had more to do with the fact I had to reconsider what kind of girlfriend I was. I had serious issues thinking that maybe I just wasn't good enough for him. And that's tough for me to face, because I know that I can be so much better than that and I know I'm worth more than a crappy boyfriend. But I think I just liked that he liked me.

But I took a step back and really looked at who I was and how I could fix it. And I realized that I didn't want to fix me.

Also, my doctor diagnosed me with ADHD, which is kinda scary for me. But I guess it explains a lot? I don't know, I just keep on moving on. :) And I'm not bad enough that I need a pill, but bad enough to have it. So I'm just a gray area.

But my words of wisdome?
Sometimes holding on is easier than letting go, and that's tough, it sucks. But you have to just jump, you have to let go.

So I've got new ideas and a new perspective.

I'm back?

-Emily