Beauty is Only Skin Deep....

I hate looking like me. I’m fat, I’m ugly, and nobody will ever want me. Every time I try to make myself worth looking at, I end up looking like fucking Jabba the Hut with makeup on. If you can picture that sight, than you can most definitely picture me. I’ve never been beautiful. Everyone has always thought of my sister as the beautiful one…I don’t think any of them have ever called me beautiful. I’m just considered the….well actually I’m not even that smart either, so I guess I’m just the one with common sense, who knows people, and who isn’t selfish. Basically when you think of my sister, you only have to think of the exact opposite to get a clear view of me, inside and out.

I know that people say that the inside is all the counts, but that’s not true. What first draws people to you is the way you look. I keep telling myself that one day I will weigh a hundred pounds less, and my hair will be longer, and I will still be the sensible person that I am, with the same likes and interests, but I will be beautiful, and people will want to know me.

That probably sounds very foolish to you, and you will probably say that beauty is only skin deep, and that is probably true for some people. I just wish that I had that beauty, as well as being the same person that I am. The only thing that makes me feel better about it is when I remember the time a complete stranger at a wedding party came up to me and told me that I had the most beautiful complexion she had ever seen. Then I think about how things would have went if my sister where there, and I immediately become sad again. The nice thing about hearing random compliments like that from people whom are not very close to you, is that you know they are not just saying it to make you happy. They actually mean it.

I’m really sorry. I sound like such a whiner right now :)…..I don’t want to be like that at all, but I think I do.