You may escape without a mauling.

I will never understand myself, and if I cannot understand myself, how can anyone else? I just need some reassurance that I am not crazy, that this is normal, and I will get over it.
I feel empty, as though I am shutting down.

The worst feeling I have ever felt was feeling sorry for myself. How have I succumbed to feeling so absolutely pathetic and worthless? This is not me, and yet, I cannot not pull myself out. It is like I have fallen into a dark abyss. An abyss I have climbed, just to the very top, yet can never get out of. I try, try, try endlessly, but I just cannot succeed. I am stuck there, and left. It is like I am gripping at the mud, trying so desperately to pull myself out. I am surrounded, dirty, left without any help. Wet mud slides between my fingers and I tear repeatedly at the strong roots around me, false dependence on being supported enough to climb my way out. My mouth is open, but I remain silent, my words are not heard even when spoken. I am screaming, absolutely screaming, for some understanding.
But I cannot understand myself. Who am I to expect that of others?